


don't wanna wait (not anymore)

by innoguilty



Series: nothing happens [2]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Anal Sex, Eddie is not having the best time, Emotional Baggage, Everyone Has Issues, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Polyamory, Richie is kinda angrey yo, Trust Issues, im not kidding when i say they are gonna have some issues in this one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:06:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22273030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innoguilty/pseuds/innoguilty
Summary: Eddie and Richie meet again. It's been a while since the last time they saw each other and there are some complicated feelings for sure. But when Richie seems to be in trouble and Eddie has a way of helping him out they spend one more night together, driving through the streets of the city looking for a lost person. And maybe also for some closure.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: nothing happens [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621480
Comments: 25
Kudos: 37





	1. part 0 - what are you doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof okay so I guess I'm really doing this, even though I have exams in like a week and literally my life is falling apart. But hey...... reddie.   
> This is the first time I continue anything, I'm mostly against sequels but I couldn't stop thinking of this idea and I guess yeah why not continue it? I mean I'm pretty much fixing something that wasn't broken, and I could potentially ruin the story but hey... it's still reddie   
> I'm still not sure if there are gonna be explicit scenes in this one so the rating might change.   
> Thank you in advance for reading. Like always English isn't my first language so sorry if I fuck up sometimes lol, either way, have fun!

Eddie loved his friend but sometimes it got really stressful dealing with his problems. Especially when he was running late to class.

“Of course he’s acting petty, Stan. He’s pretending it’s not a big deal but at the same time punishing the two of you for putting labels on it.”

“It’s just so classic Bill to disappear for days when something doesn’t go his way, you know?”

“I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

Eddie stepped inside the building, trying very hard not to push people while he hurried down the hall to his classroom. Stan sighed on the other side of the call.

“Fuck Bill anyway.”

Eddie laughed, “like you won’t when you guys make up.”

“Hilarious,” he answered bitterly, “are you stopping by later?”

Ever since his friendship with Stan, Mike, and Bill had taken off, he had grown accustomed to spending almost every night of the week with them. They always had food in their apartment and Eddie's schedule was usually free after eight. That was not the case this time.

“I can’t, I have to go to the library.”

He heard Stan scoff. “Yeah, sure. Be safe, though.”

Eddie blushed, “fuck off, Stan. I have to go to class now.”

“Mhmm, is that also code for sex or-?”

“No that means I really have class, so bye. Solve your relationship problems?”

Stan let out a small laugh, “Yeah, fuck you too. I’ll tell you how it goes later.”

Eddie pushed the door open and sat down on his usual spot with a small smile on his lips as the conversation with his friend still played inside his head. He really tried to push Stan’s teasing voice out of his mind but it was very hard, especially when he knew that Stan was right. A year ago, Eddie would have never thought that he was going to be shifting on his seat during microeconomics, listening to Professor Winter’s boring voice and getting increasingly more nervous - and turned on - with the passing of each minute. But many things had changed ever since his ex-boyfriend had unexpectedly dumped him.

He thanked him - in a way - for doing that. 

With his mind running on fantasies instead of finances two hours were quickly gone and Eddie couldn’t have stood up more quickly. He was the first person out of the door and out of the building, his body running with electricity as he made his way to the library.

He took the phone out of his pocket to check if he had any new messages when it started ringing. And because he was a great friend he answered instead of ignoring it. But not without trying to make Bill know that he didn’t really want to talk.

“Bill, I don’t have much time-“

“It’s okay, it’s short. Did you talk with Stan?”

Eddie stopped outside of the library still shifting on his feet, waiting for the conversation to end quickly.

“Yeah, I did, why?”

There was a small pause then Bill added, “and? what did he say?”

Eddie sighed frustrated, “Bill, I’m not gonna fucking snitch.”

“Come on! I have literally no idea what goes on inside his head sometimes. Please?”

“Well, I suggest going back home and talking about it with your _boyfriends_.”

Bill scoffed, “if they decided they want to be boyfriends doesn’t automatically make me their boyfriend too, Eddie.”

Eddie massaged his eyes with his thumb index finger waiting for Bill to stop being so impossible. “Dude, maybe don’t have this conversation with the most vanilla person you know, okay?”

“You see! Just because Mike called you that doesn’t mean I think that too!”

“So you don’t think that?”

Bill took a few seconds before deciding to change the subject back to his relationship with Mike and Stan, “just tell me what Stan said, Eddie.”

Eddie sighed, “he said you’re an insufferable attention seeker that is keeping me away from getting some.”

“Oh… why didn’t you say you tell me, man?”

“Would it have made any difference?”

"Yeah, I would have stopped this conversation a long time ago."

Eddie’s eyes spotted a tall figure going inside and his heart started beating a little bit faster while his friend apologized on the other line.

“Look, Bill, it’s all good, just go home, please? And let me know how it goes so I can stop by on my way home, okay?”

“Okay, man. Be safe, though.”

“Stan already said that.”

“Okay, fuck then, have fun.”

Eddie laughed, “thanks. Later.”

As he walked between the tall bookshelves he could see the tall man following his movements and dark eyes on him. The library was a great spot to hook up late at night and at this time of the year when it wasn't overflowing with students freaking out about their next exams. The perfect combination of something private but also very public. A year ago he wouldn’t have known he had it in him. However, Eddie had quickly learned that it didn’t matter how many times he did this he was still going to be shaking by the time he reached the cultural studies section, or what he knew as the best spot in the entire campus.

Eddie stood at one side of the hallway pretending to be very interested in a book on how to understand Stuart Hall's theories as the other man walked slowly towards him. Eddie gave him a side glance until the other man was standing right beside him.

“Hey.”

Eddie looked at him and discovered unfortunately that the man wasn’t as tall as he had pictured. Also, his hair was a lighter color and shorter than expected. Also, he seemed much more muscular than his usual type.

“Hi,” he answered back, waiting for the guy to make some flirty or funny remark.

Instead, he looked around with an alarmed look and asked, “so you like, wanna do this?”

All nervousness he had been feeling before left his body and he just stood there thinking about how this Chad-looking dude wasn’t even smooth. Or his type. And judging by the way his eyes kept paying attention to everything else but Eddie it was even probable that he was some closeted guy that didn't want to be spotted sucking dick on a dark corner of the library.

Eddie was about to pretend that he didn’t know what he was talking about and leave. But then his eyes finally stopped on Eddie’s. They were a nice dark shade of brown.

Good enough.

“Sure.”

He rang the doorbell twice, letting his friends know it was him. It was late since his hook up had lasted a little bit longer than anticipated, but when he saw the text from Bill telling him he had gone back home he decided to stop by. After all, his three friends only lived two floors down from his own apartment.

Mike opened the door, “Hey!” he greeted opening his arms to hug him, “there he is, Grindr boy number one!”

Eddie rolled his eyes but he still smiled and hugged Mike.

“How was it?”

“Don’t ask about my sex life, Mike. You’re basically my dad.” He said stepping in the apartment.

“Say what you want but don’t forget that you messaged me first.”

That still wasn't the proudest moment of Eddie's life, even if it had led him to find Mike, Bill, and Stan again.

After the pub crawl, Eddie didn’t see them again for two months, even though he had gotten their number. He just never thought that they would actually want to hang out with him again. 

During that time he had been unsuccessfully living the single life. Since his first crazy night had been pretty much a story for the books it took him a while to understand that in the modern world if you didn’t go out then the only option was the internet. So he downloaded the app and started using it very regularly.

After a few experiences, the day came in which Eddie found himself in front of the same door looking directly into Mike’s face. He had arrived thinking he was ready to have his first four-way but when he saw Mike again he got instantly too embarrassed to function. There was no way he could have known since neither Eddie or Mike had put their faces on their profiles. 

Although they didn’t have a big orgy they spent the night drinking and catching up.

Eddie started stopping by more and more often until it was a regular part of his day to visit his friends. And when one of the upstairs neighbors moved out, the three of them quickly told Eddie and weeks later he was living on the same building as his best friends.

“Good thing I didn’t take you up in that four-way, cause things would be even more complicated if I had,” Mike lifted his eyebrows and nodded. “How’s everything here?” Eddie asked in a hushed voice.

While Stan and Bill were very passionate about their opinions and emotions, Mike had always been more grounded, so Eddie knew he could always ask Mike and get an objective, non-exaggerated view on things.

“Better now that Bill is back, but it might take a while, you know? Bill can be… stubborn. And Stan is just really impatient.”

Eddie nodded, but before he could say anything else, a voice came from the other room, “is that Eddie’s slutty ass?”

Both of them replied with a “yeah” as they stepped into the small living room. Bill was sitting on the couch on his phone and Stan was sitting on the floor doing a puzzle on the coffee table. Eddie felt some tension in the room but if both of them were in the same room it couldn’t be that bad. Plus if Stan was doing a puzzle things couldn’t be that bad, since it always helped him with his anxiety.

Eddie sat down next to Stan while Mike sat on the other side of the couch with Bill’s feet on his lap.

“So, how was it?” asked Stan, still concentrated on the puzzle.

“Okay.”

The three of them immediately looked directly at Eddie.

“Okay?” asked Mike.

“Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”

Bill laughed, “I think I’ve never heard you say a hook up was just 'okay'.”

“What? That’s not true -“

“I've heard you describe your hookups as ‘godlike, amazing, fucking hot’ or ‘not good, mediocre at best’. But never just as okay,” intervened Stan.

“Not everything has to be godlike or shitty. What's wrong with just okay?.”

“Sounds to me like you’re getting tired of the casual hookups,” said Bill with a sly grin.

Eddie rolled his eyes and stood up, “fuck off, that’s not it.”

Mike hit Bill’s leg playfully, “look what you have done, now our child hates us!”

Eddie came back with a glass of water from the kitchen and stayed on his feet in front of his friends, “why are we analyzing my shit instead of yours?”

“We have or shit on pause so you’re getting psychoanalyzed even if you don’t want it, Eddie,” answered Stan.

“Fuck you guys, that's so unfair. Also, psychoanalysis is not even a valid praxis anymore,” said Eddie and took another sip of his cup.

“Stop trying to divert the topic with your useless knowledge, man,” added Bill.

Eddie sighed, “Mike come on, man. Be on my side, protect me from these bullies.”

“The bullies are right. You’ve been acting differently.”

“Okay, so now it’s like a thing?” asked Eddie with his brow furrowed. 

“It’s not only tonight’s hook up,” continued Mike, “do you even want to go on those anymore?”

“I thought you guys liked it when I was a slut!”

“We only like it if you still like it, Eddie,” said Bill. “Maybe you're keeping your definition of ’single’ in one note.”

Before Eddie could ask what the fuck was that supposed to mean, Stan continued.

“I hate to agree with Bill right now, “ earning himself an eye-roll from Bill, “but a big part of being single is also deciding when you wanna stop being single.”

“I can’t believe you guys. I don’t wanna have another boyfriend! I already wasted too much time on a relationship! And whatever idea you all got in your head of me needing to settle down it’s just outrageous. You can’t base that on me just saying that today’s guy was an okay lay.”

“Eddie we are not trying to attack you, man,” said Mike, “it’s just from time to time it all seems to come back to -“

Mike stopped himself before he could finish. Eddie then noticed that both Stan and Bill were looking at him with warning looks. The realization slowly crept on Eddie and he sighed.

“Jesus, that again?”

Nobody said anything for a few seconds until finally Stan stood up from the ground and walked over to Eddie putting one hand on his shoulder. Eddie expected him to be direct with him, the good old fashioned Stanley way. Truth above all.

“Do you want me to heat up some leftovers for you?”

Eddie threw his head back in frustration.

“Guys, this isn’t about him!”

His friends stared at him too scared to add anything since this particular conversation was a very unpleasant one to have with Eddie.

Bill said with a small voice, “I think we still have some veggie lasagna from yesterday.”

“I’ll go check it out," answered Stan and disappeared quickly into the kitchen.

“Yeah, um, I’ll go too,” said Bill going after him. 

Eddie watched them go, and then looked at Mike, who just shrugged. Eddie let out a deep sigh and flopped down onto the couch.

“Well, thank you,” Mike said, “that’s the first time in the week that they've been willingly together in the same room.”

“Always glad to help,” Eddie said in a monotonous voice. He was already getting a headache. “Do you guys, really think it’s about him?”

Mike sighed, “I don’t know, Eddie. Only you can be sure about that. But I do think maybe it’s something you have been ignoring.”

“Because I’m afraid of falling in love or some shit?” he asked with a mocking voice.

“Maybe? It could be something else, like thinking you are above falling in love. Or daddy issues," Eddie tried to fight the small laugh but it came out anyway. "I just think it’s something you shouldn’t be procrastinating anymore.”

Eddie covered his eyes with the heel of his palms and groaned.

“Why are you like, fucking wise, dude? We are basically the same age.”

Mike laughed, “I have two idiots as boyfriends, someone has to be smart.”

Eddie smiled, “one of them isn't your boyfriend, though.”

Mike smiled and shook his head, “that’s something he’ll have to deal with. But I’m not giving up on him. And neither on you.”

“Thanks, Mike.”

“Just take your time. But don’t ignore your feelings either, man.”

Eddie nodded, and before he could say anything Stan and Bill showed up with plates on their hands.

“Okay, eat this and complain about that dumb professor you have,” commanded Stan shoving the plate on his face.

Eddie laughed but he complied. They ate and talk for a few hours and even though there were still many things left unsaid between them, they still managed to have a nice time together.

After the meal, Eddie went back upstairs to his apartment, which was locked up since his roommate was probably sleeping over at his girlfriend’s house. Eddie sighed relieved that he could have the place to himself and his thoughts.

Once in bed, he wasted time checking his social media instead of going directly to sleep. He played around looking at some guys’ profiles but didn’t message anybody or answer any messages he had gotten. And just before he went to sleep he took one last look at his contact list and laughed as he looked at one of them named ‘big dick rick’. The laugh quickly turned into a strange bad feeling that Eddie couldn’t quite understand or describe, so he put his phone down and turned the lights off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls put up with my richie-less prologue, I promise it's happening soon   
> also, listen, continuing this story a year later was an artistic choice, okay? It's supposed to make the same time gap as the story does... it was definitely on purpose, it's not like I got an idea for a sequel a week ago while thinking of the boys.


	2. part 1 - unghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, as it turns out deciding to post a sequel in the middle of my exams wasn't as smart as I would've thought mmmm  
> this was originally supposed to be two chapters so yeah i guess it's a little longer ups

As he made his way up the stairs, he decided it was time to pay his friends a visit. In the last weeks, he had been mostly occupied catching up with some readings and turning in assignments. Sleeping less and staying awake longer to meet his deadlines. Which also meant he hadn't been sleeping around that much, but ever since his friends had decided to psychoanalyze him, he hadn't been feeling like it either way.

Ignoring Stan and Bill as much as possible was also helping with his time management. The two of them had been taking turns complaining about their relationship status - or lack thereof -. Eddie had never minded helping out but with the little time he had, he decided to let them know that he was going to be busy for a few weeks. Nothing personal. Although he secretly enjoyed his time out of the drama.

It was already Thursday night and his extra hours had seemed to pay off as he found himself with a few free hours to visit his neglected friends.

Once on their floor, he walked through the hallways following the path he knew by hard on automatic pilot, so immersed on his own thoughts that he was startled when he turned around the corner and clashed against someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” he heard the worried voice say. He knew who it belonged to right away but it took him a second to come back to his center and see the man before him. There was only one other person that he knew that had an even nicer and more gentle voice than Mike and that was Ben.

Ben recognized him too. “Oh, Eddie, I’m sorry are you okay? I should have watched where I was going.”

He was looking at Eddie with regretful eyes, yet the contrast of his gentle face to his tall, broad and toned body never failed to throw Eddie off his rhythm for a few minutes. 'Gentle giant' didn’t even begin describing Ben.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a small laugh, “I should pay attention to where I’m walking too.”

“Well, how could you have known I was here.”

Eddie shrugged with a small smile and Ben’s face finally relaxed to a less concerned look.

“What are you doing here by the way?”

Ben sighed, “I was just- I wanted to ask the guys for a favor. But I stopped by at a really bad moment.”

Eddie didn’t remember the details on how Ben’s friendship with the rest of the guys had started. Something about Mike and him sitting together one time for lunch. Then everyone thought he was incredibly good looking. However, by the time Ben’s heterosexuality was revealed, the guys had already grown too fond of him to let him go. Eddie hadn't really hung out with him that much but he really liked Ben either way. He was polite, nice and thoughtful. 

Which was why it troubled him seeing Ben look so… distraught.

“What happened?”

“I should be asking you that,” Ben let out a small nervous laugh, “I mean, I walked in there and things were really tense. Now I feel bad because, uh, Bill was kinda…”

Eddie sighed in frustration. “What did he do?”

“Uh, remember how he used to be when, well, before?”

“Yeah,” Eddie wished he didn’t remember.

It was no secret that Bill thought that Ben was very hot. Everyone thought Ben was hot, honestly, only that Bill made his attraction toward Ben very visible. And even to Ben himself. Of course, nothing would have come of it because of many different reasons, but besides the more obvious ones, like Ben being straight and in a loving monogamous relationship, there was also the fact that Bill mostly flirted with Ben to fuck with Stan.

Stan liked Ben too, but if Bill filtered with him, he would get quietly annoyed. And then he would accumulate that feeling until it turned into anger, and finally, he would explode. Ever since they gave Ben the big ‘off the limits’ tag, Bill had stopped messing with Stan like that. So if he was back to his dumb tactics it could only mean that things were really bad.

“Fuck, man” continued Eddie, “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t be in the middle of this. No one should, really.”

“What is even going on? Mike seemed pretty okay.”

“It’s mostly Stan and Bill,” answered Eddie. “Relationship stuff, trust me you don’t wanna know.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. Ben smiled politely at Eddie so he reciprocated. It was in moments like this he wished he knew Ben better, so he didn’t look like a weirdo in front of him.

“So, uh,” he stalled, trying to feel less awkward. "What was it that you needed?”

“Oh, it’s just- um I have a thing on Saturday and I wanted to know if Mike could help me out, but yeah he wasn’t there so...”

“What kind of thing?”

Ben let out a tired sigh.

“It’s umm, you know my girlfriend, she’s having her an art exhibition and it’s like really important for her.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Commented Eddie. From the things he had heard about her, Eddie knew that Ben really respected and loved her art. He also knew it was fucking difficult to get by in life as an artist.

“Yeah, it’s great and I really wanna go, that's my problem. The gallery is like an hour away from my internship and it would usually be okay, but I’m getting off of work way too late and I might not even make it and she needs my car to take the things to the galley, so I just thought maybe I could borrow Mike’s if he was okay with it but then I came around and I see that they have enough problems of their own for me to come around asking for favors but now I’m really worried and I know she said it’s okay, but it’s not, and I really wanna be there for her even if it’s a few hours!”

Eddie felt overwhelmed listening to Ben’s problems especially since he seemed really conflicted about what to do.

Ben let out a shaky groan after he was done talking and a silence fell upon them.

“Wow,” was the only thing that Eddie managed to say.

“Yeah, man, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have come to you with all these things at once. I’m sorry.”

Eddie wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe it was Ben's big sad eyes that somehow reminded him of himself. Or maybe it was just a sudden strike of altruism but he barely thought about it when he said, “you know I could help you out.”

Ben’s first reaction was politely declining.

“Oh, no no no Eddie don’t worry about it! I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to pressure you....”

Eddie laughed a little and interrupted Ben’s self-conscious ramblings.

“No, Ben. I’m really offering.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I mean I have a car and I could drive you there, because I do need to be somewhere after I drop you off, but I can gladly drive you up there!”

“You sure, Eddie?”

“Yes, it’s not like I have much going on for me on a Friday night either way!”

That last part was a lie. Part of his strict time management had been because of a party on campus that Friday. However, Eddie thought that helping out someone like Ben was better than getting drunk and sleeping with some random guy at a party. Maybe he could manage to do both. But even if he didn’t he felt like his time was better spent helping Ben out.

Maybe he could stop the weird thoughts on his head for a while if he did a good deed.

It was worth the try.

Eddie waited outside of a big glass building with his lights blinking at nine o’clock. The street to his side was full of cars that hurried to their next destination. He stared at the building feeling kind of intimidated on his small old car and wearing casual clothes while expensive cars surrounded him. Five minutes later Ben finally showed up. The intimidation on his body rose up when he saw Ben wearing a suit and tie.

He got inside the car and it almost felt cartoonish how big Ben was for his dumb car.

Ben was out of breath, “sorry, man! This day can’t literally get any worse.”

Eddie started driving following his GPS directions and trying not to look like he was on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

“It’s alright!” His voice sounded weird and squeaky and he hated it.

He was telling himself to calm down and just drive when Ben started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Do you mind if I change here? I had no time to change the office clothes and I really don’t wanna look like a stuck up business dude in a gallery full of artsy people.”

Ben asking for permission was pretty pointless since he was already taking his shirt off as he spoke, so Eddie just nodded.

“I love everything that Bev makes but I swear that scene makes me so nervous. Those guys really intimidate me.”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re intimidated by artsy people?”

“They are worse than you would think, man. I can't handle mean people really well. But she can, so I'm proud of her.”

Eddie smiled. “It must be nice,” he said quietly.

Ben kept moving on the passenger side as changed his clothes.

“How long have you guys been together?”

“Three years and a half,” answered Ben without one second of hesitation. 

Eddie’s eyes went slightly wider, “the longest I’ve been with anybody was two years. That's a long time, huh?”

“Oh, yeah. I had the biggest crush on her for like an entire year so it feels like more for me.”

“Why didn’t you make a move before?”

“She just seemed really out of my league. I still wonder how she can be with me. Don’t tell her I said that, she doesn’t like when I say that.”

“Well, I agree with her, man. You are a great catch yourself.”

Ben laughed lightly, something on his laugh made Eddie understand that maybe he didn’t respond well to compliments.

“Now, you sound just like her!” Eddie hummed, “thank you again, by the way. You’re really helping me out, you know?”

“Hey, it’s nothing. It’s also a good reason to avoid the books tonight. _And_ skip today's episode of Bill versus Stan.”

Ben let out a laugh, “now that it’s just the two of us and we are not standing on a hallway, could you explain some of that to me?”

Eddie started explaining as much as he could understand himself. About how the three of them had been in an open relationship that wasn’t actually a relationship since they had been against naming it a relationship. Kind of like a Schrödinger’s relationship. And how it had been pretty much okay like that until a few weeks ago when Mike and Stan decided to label it, to which Bill absolutely freaked out because he had commitment issues, and how that had driven them to finally be at war with each other as Bill didn’t want the commitment but still wanted to be in the ‘not-relationship’.

Eddie thought it was a real fucking mess, but to be fair he had only had one relationship and all he knew about with poly-relationships came from his three friends so he didn’t really know what he would do in their place. Ben pretty much agreed.

And then they changed the subject to Ben. His childhood, his present, his plans for the future and Eddie found himself sharing some of his own stories with Ben as well. Eddie already had liked Ben before their drive together but as the hour on the car went by he found himself more and more convinced that Ben could also be someone he would like to be friends with.

They were laughing at something when the voice on the GPS announced that their destination was just a few blocks away from them. Eddie looked at the building to his right, it was one of those remodeled old warehouses. He understood why Ben had been afraid of the artsy hipsters as soon as he saw a few of the people standing outside smoking. The most fashion-forward things he owned were jeans, a white shirt, and a black jean jacket which were the main components of his outfit. Meanwhile, outside of the gallery he saw people, whose gender he couldn’t quite guess, wearing things he thought belonged on a 2051 fashion magazine. It was really not his scene.

“So,” he started, “this is your stop.”

Ben had that look on his eyes again. He seemed eager but also a little afraid, “yeah, thank you so much again.”

“Don’t worry about it really.”

Ben looked at him and as he was about to open the door he stopped and turned to Eddie, “Hey, don’t you wanna maybe come upstairs? You drove all the way here and, I mean, you deserve at least a beer, right?”

Eddie thought about leaving right away to the other party. But something about leaving Ben alone with judgy hipsters made him reconsider.

“I mean,” he stalled, “I could stay around for fifteen minutes. See the art.”

Ben smiled at him, a heavy breath leaving his mouth, “great! I need to introduce you as the hero of the night either way!”

Eddie parked right there. He stepped out of the car and before they entered the gallery he stopped and asked Ben, “Hey, what did you say your girlfriend’s name was again? I really don’t wanna be that guy that doesn’t even know her name.”

Ben laughed, “yeah, sorry I should have probably said it earlier. It’s Beverly Marsh. She just goes by Bev as an artist, though.”

Eddie nodded. He followed Ben up some stairs with a strange feeling on his stomach.

Upstairs Ben opened the big glass door into a gallery full of people. There was still enough space to see the works placed around the big room but it was definitely a successful night.

“Full house,” said Ben with a sparkling look on his eyes, “I believe we already missed the introduction but she must be around here somewhere,” Ben’s eyes roamed around the room but there were still too many people to look for someone. “Hey, do you mind if I leave you a few minutes alone so I can find her?”

“No, not at all! Go ahead, I’ll be over there checking some of her things out,” Eddie said pointing to a section that was mostly paintings.

“Great! I’ll look for you there then.”

Ben hurried down the crowd and Eddie made his way slowly through the people but paying attention to the art on the walls. He noticed right away that her name wasn't the only one and that some other artists had also made their contributions to the gallery. However, hers were really special. All the colors she had used were really bright, even neon. There were a few abstract paintings but there were mostly portraits or still life paintings.

Eddie was completely mesmerized with the style. He might have known nothing of technique or styles but he liked it. And for someone that didn’t know anything about art that was enough.

One painting caught his attention more than the others. It was about as big as his torso, white background and the portrait of a man cut just in the middle. His figure was made with small detailed black brushes it was also completed with some thicker green, pink and yellow neon around the figure and some other abstract figures completing the background that Eddie couldn’t quite get. 

He read the name. _Disintegration_.

Something about the title, the colors and the man himself started haunting Eddie’s mind. He tried making more sense of it by pushing his attention away from the colors and figures and just focusing on the lines that defined the man’s face and torso.

_There's something about-_

Once it dwelled on him he felt a sudden rush of heat freeze his body. He stared at it paralyzed and thinking maybe he was looking too much into it. That his brain was putting too much of his own issues into the interpretation. And he was about to convince himself until he heard Ben’s voice coming behind him.

“Eddie! I found her.”

He heard them get closer to him and he turned around dreading what he already knew. Ben was already standing in front of him while Beverly talked briefly with someone that had probably stolen her attention for a few seconds on her way over. And the seconds in which she still hadn’t seen him dragged on for an eternity.

Ben kept talking, “it was impossible to drag her away from all the critics complimenting her, but I managed to play the boyfriend card.” It was going to be alright. There was no way Beverly remembered him, right? He had just been one customer on what was probably her second job and there were too many drunk guys on this world. There was no way. “Bev this is Eddie.”

Beverly finally managed to break her small conversation and turned around. Her eyes landed on Eddie. For a second he felt relieved because her expression stayed the same. But as she processed Eddie’s presence in front of her, her smile got smaller and her eyes a little wider. Not enough for Ben to notice the change but Eddie could see. Those were the eyes of someone, who knew him.

“Eddie,” she said a little quieter.

Luckily Ben kept talking, “yeah, that’s Eddie! The hero of the night! Well, at least mine, 'cause you seem to be doing just fine without me,” Ben definitely seemed more energetic than a few minutes ago. Maybe seeing so many people turn up for Beverly had him on another emotional level that blinded him to the fact that Eddie and Beverly had met before.

Whatever it was that had made Ben shift his entire attitude, Eddie was thankful for it since it gave no space for him and Beverly to talk to each other.

And then he said, “oh! Eddie, I’ll get you that beer I promised. I’ll be right back!”

He tried interrupting and saying he didn’t need it, but then Ben was gone and he was alone in front of Beverly. He tried not to gulp in front of her but she stared at him with her green eyes that were piercing into his skin.

“So, Eddie,” she started saying with a dangerous neutral voice, “how long has it been?”

He took a few seconds finding his voice, “a while.”

She hummed and nodded.

“The- uh, your art is really good.”

“Thank you,” she answered sounding simultaneously grateful and indifferent to his opinion. “I see you were looking at 'Disintegration' over there,” Eddie felt his face get hotter, “do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s quite, uh, good.”

She nodded, “after today it might be able to make me some money. But I don’t plan on selling it.”

“Right,” he answered quietly. They fell into silence. Beverly’s eyes were still on him but he couldn’t look directly at her. “So, how have you-“

Beverly interrupted, “you know he is here, right?”

Eddie felt his skin heat up again and he didn’t know if it was because he was flustered of ashamed. Maybe a weird combination of the two.

“Is he?”

“I mean he is the model of one of the works. He is also my best friend, so yeah. He’s here.”

Eddie nodded and tried looking around the room as subtly as he could, “where?”

“Around. You’ve met him, he likes fucking around with people. Have a few laughs.”

“Sounds like he’s doing okay then.”

“He might be. You might have to ask him about that, though.”

Eddie shifted on his feet. Where was Ben with his beer when he needed some liquid strength.

Was he even ready to see him again? He didn’t think he would ever be ready to see him again. Not after all that time. And what he had done. 

Bev sighed at his unresponsiveness, “look, Eddie, I’m not trying to scold you or anything. And you did bring my boyfriend to me today so I definitely don’t hate you. But I was also the one that had to listen to Richie talk about you for a good while. So why don’t you do us both a favor and give my guy some closure?”

“I’m-“

“Not trying to force you to do that. You’re free to leave without a word. But I do think you should see each other, even if it’s one last time,” she took a big gulp from the glass on her hands and added, “and that’s the last advice I’m giving today. It’s my night and I’m not bartending. So, enjoy yourself.”

And with that, she turned around and left Eddie standing in front of the painting again. He didn't know how much time passed until Ben was back with two beers on his hands.

“Where did Beverly go?”

“She had to, uh, talk to some critics I think,” he said taking a long sip from the beer.

“Oh,” it really did amaze him how much Ben resembled a lost puppy sometimes, “well did you guys get to know each other?”

Eddie didn’t want to lie, so he just nodded. “You should go look for her. I’m not staying that long either way. I’ll just take one more look around and then I’ll leave.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” he smiled, “go support your girlfriend, man.”

Ben smiled at him and to Eddie’s surprise pulled him into a tight hug, “thanks, man,” he started walking away only to turn around and say, “I owe you big time!”

Eddie smiled and waved him off. After the only person he knew was gone - or at least the only one who didn’t hate him - he was left alone with his chest feeling tighter and tighter.

He kept his head low, afraid of catching a glimpse of Richie. Or maybe he was afraid of Richie seeing him. Maybe it had already happened but he didn’t know. He started constructing a whole scenario in his head where Richie had spotted him and said nothing and started convincing himself that maybe leaving was the best thing to do. But then his feet started slowly moving around the room and his eyes got less cautious, not even pretending that he was seeing the paintings.

Did he actually want to see him? That was an easy question, he knew that the answer was yes. Eddie was really curious and really wanted to see for himself the face he hadn’t seen in more than a year. Maybe he had gotten taller, or skinnier, maybe he had gotten even bigger glasses. 

One look and he would leave.

He kept walking, bumping into a few people, but still with enough free space to feel practically naked. Maybe he was out smoking? Maybe he had just left. Maybe even with someone. Eddie couldn’t help but feel a little stupid. He mentally scolded himself for even thinking anything about it when he suddenly saw him.

He was standing on the other side of the room. Actually taller than he remembered, wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans that somehow looked very appropriate to the event. His hair was longer than before and Eddie felt himself get a little weak on the knees.

Someone was talking to him and instead of seeing that really expressive face that Eddie remembered so fondly, Richie stood there quietly listening to what the other guy had to say. He looked thoughtful and immerse on the conversation, and when he finally started moving his lips in response Eddie spotted a small smile on the corner of his lips that uncovered that playful side of him he had met.

Obviously he started freaking out. His first response was grabbing his phone and sending a message to Mike. He was always the voice of the reason. He would know what to do because Eddie had no fucking idea how to speak to someone whose dick had been in his mouth and who he had then proceeded to ghost for an entire year.

He typed as quickly as he could:

_Hey remember Richie????_

_Well he’s here and I don’t know what to do and I’m really losing my shit_

_Why aren’t you answering?_

_Im gonna fuckin_

_Fuck you guys are maybe busy_

_Fuck_

_Okay don’t worry ill just fucking get out of here_

He had already made up his mind. He couldn’t take one more second of the mental torture that was seeing Richie. He turned incredibly fast to his right and bumped into someone. He cursed and quickly apologized to the person. Even if there were people talking and music was playing, his little clumsy moment had earned him a few stares. The person he bumped to apologized as well but turned around and continued their business. Eddie stood there frozen afraid to turn around.

Finally, curiosity got the best of him and his head turned to Richie’s direction. And sure enough, there were those magnified brown eyes looking at him with utter confusion. Like he was some sort of hallucination.

Eddie sure felt like one. Just standing there and doing nothing.

It couldn’t have been more than two seconds but Richie’s expression turning from confusion to realization felt like a lifetime for him.

The person talking with Richie had left so there was no way of avoiding the fact that Richie was totally focused on him.

 _Fuck it,_ Eddie thought and started walking towards Richie.

It could only get worse before it could get better or whatever.

As he closed the distance between them he thought of a million cool things that he could say to charm Richie. Something stupid and fun, maybe something that could make him laugh. After all, he had only pictured this scenario around a hundred times. But then he was close, and the time came to say something, anything, and all those fun one-liners fled Eddie’s mind as he focused on the details of Richie’s passive face.

And then he could only say, “hi.”

Richie’s eyes narrowed again. They weren’t close enough to touch but when Richie spoke he heard it loud and clear, “what-“ he started saying but then couldn’t finish the thought.

“I, uh, I drove Ben here,” Eddie answered to the unfinished question.

“Huh,” Richie, said, nodding and looking away from him. He was silent a few seconds and then asked again, “you know Ben?”

Eddie nodded and answered with a very small, “yeah.”

He wondered if his body had caught on fire without him knowing. Richie didn’t look that well either. He wasn’t showing any kind of trace of the person Eddie had met. No funny looks or flirty words, he just stared back at Eddie with a strange expression, a mix between surprise and something that Eddie guessed was also discomfort. Oh Jesus, Eddie really hadn’t thought it through before approaching him. Was it too late to turn back and pretend he had never been there? Or even better yet pretend he had never even existed and that he and Richie had never crossed paths?

 _You already did that and look where it got you_ , he mentally scolded himself.

He had dug himself into that hole, so he needed to get himself out of there too.

“So,” he coughed out his first words, “Beverly seems to be doing very well.”

“Uh, yeah,” answered Richie still looking awkward. “She’s really good at what she does.”

Eddie nodded. His eyes shifted between Richie’s features and the rest of the room. He wanted to be confident enough to look at him directly in the face, but he really lacked experience in confronting his previous hookups. Still, he couldn’t let himself be dragged down. Richie was probably feeling as uncomfortable as he was but he needed to shift the conversation into a normal and nice conversation.

He was about to blurt out something when Richie said, “look, Eddie," Eddie immediately shut his mouth but Richie took a few seconds before continuing. Only then Eddie noticed that there was something else on his eyes than discomfort and surprise.

“I’m willing to believe that this is some strange trick of the universe, but this,” he gestured with his hands, “is really weird.”

“Oh,” it’s not like Eddie didn’t know that, it just sounded different coming out of Richie's mouth. Strangely serious.

“I can’t really talk right now,” Richie’s eyes then looked behind him and the worrying look on his face grew even more, then they returned to Eddie, “I have to run. Bye, Eddie.”

And just like that Richie was walking away quickly, pushing between the people. Eddie turned around to see where he was heading after the small shock eased out of him. He could only see his back but he was talking with a woman. After a few seconds, the two of them were walking away together and Eddie decided to stop looking.

“Fuck this,” he muttered to himself and started walking back to the big glass doors where he had first come from.

Fuck it.

It wasn’t his fault. He always knew this was a possibility. Of course, Richie could be with somebody else. He had every right to move on but so did Eddie. He wasn’t going to waste his time at some art gallery when he could be somewhere else planing his next hook up from his phone. It also wasn’t his fault that Richie couldn’t behave like a decent person when he wasn’t interested in fucking him anymore. At least Eddie had made the effort.

He had. Right?

His phone rang and only then noticed that he was fuming. Already knowing it was going to be either Mike, Stan or Bill he pushed the front doors, stepping out into the cool night air and answered with a rampant, “what now?”

“Holy shit, that doesn’t sound good,” he heard Bill say. “So the reunion wasn’t as good as you thought?”

“How do you know about this? I texted Mike,” there was a small silence. The realization hit him, “am I on speaker?”

“Dude, we called you from Stan’s phone,” he heard Mike say.

Eddie let out a frustrated groan, “I see you guys are all reconciled and shit.”

“We're on a fifteen-minute break so make it worth it,” answered Stan.

“Well, you guys are going to have to think how to feel the next ten minutes, cause I’m gonna drive back home now.”

“Stop by when you are here. We ordered pizza.”

“Sure thing, see you later.”

He hung up and searched for his car keys in his pockets. He took one more breath, trying to calm himself down. It was okay if things didn’t go as he had wished. Also, he was cute as fuck, he could get anybody he wanted.

Eddie stood in front of the gallery for a few seconds and convinced himself he was gonna stop thinking about Richie in no time. He almost did it successfully too.

And then Richie burst through the door.

“Yeah, well fucking keep him there, I’ll be there!” he yelled angrily into his phone. “Come on! It’s not that difficult just-“ until then he hadn’t seen Eddie standing a few feet away from him. His face fell and his voice became much quieter but it still had the same intensity. “Listen, just wait there.”

After Richie hung up their eyes met for a few awkward seconds. However, the energy seemed different, like Richie wasn’t holding himself back anymore.

“What?” he asked angrily.

Good. Eddie could deal with anger way better than with awkwardness or neutrality.

“Nothing,” he answered with the same tone.

Richie took out a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket. Eddie couldn’t help getting a deja vu. The two of them outside, Richie smoking, the tension in the air. Only this time it was a completely different kind of tension.

Richie started walking away but Eddie stopped him.

“What was that whole thing about?”

Richie frowned at his question but answered it anyway, “lost someone.”

“How do you lose someone?”

Richie puffed out some smoke, “you forget to cherish them.”

Eddie frowned, “what?”

“Nothing.”

Richie started walking away. This time Eddie followed him.

“Is everything okay?”

Richie seemed irritated, “dude, drop it. I am really not in the mood for this.”

Usually, Eddie would comply to something like that. He believed Richie when he said he wasn’t on the mood since he had no memory of Richie even fucking frowning. But a part of him didn’t want for their last encounter to be a bunch of awkward words and Richie just leaving him in the middle of a crowded room. So, yeah, he was going to insist.

“Well, it sounded like you're in trouble.”

“No it didn’t and I'm not,” Richie stopped and Eddie almost tripped on his feet, “you should probably go.”

Richie stared him down and Eddie wasn’t going to deny that he did look sort of intimidating, with the low voice and the bad attitude. Another part of him also thought he looked really hot but the petty part of his brain kept his thoughts grounded.

“Don’t be stupid, let me help-“

“Eddie, this is not a joke!” Richie’s voice got more intense. He wasn’t quite yelling but Eddie still was taken back, “I wasn’t fucking around when I said that you showing up out of nowhere after so much time, it’s weird as fuck. And sorry if I’m being rude or stupid or whatever it is that you think but I really don’t have time for this right now. I need to pick up someone on the other side of town and I have no idea if I’m even gonna make it there on time, so no, you can’t help me. When I say ‘you should probably go’ I mean exactly that.”

Richie turned around and started walking again. Eddie let him get a few feet away from him before answering, “and how do you plan on getting to the other side of town?”

Richie turned around again, this time looking even more upset.

“That’s my problem. Go home.”

“Richie, I know you don’t want my help or even my face near you but-” Eddie started walking towards him. When he was close enough again he held out his car keys in front of Richie, “I have a car.”

Richie looked at the keys and then at Eddie. He suddenly didn’t look as angry but he wasn’t smiling and thanking Eddie either.

“I’m not a charity case, Eddie.”

“And I’m not a philanthropist, Richie,” he let out a small breath and he softened his eyes, “come on, dude. I can help.”

Richie lifted his chin slightly like he was analyzing all the pros and cons of getting in a car with Eddie. Finally, Richie crossed his arms over his chest and let out a small groan, “fine, but I’m gonna complain every time I get the chance.”

”Just tell me where we're going."

Once they were on the road, following the GPS, and half an hour away from their destination, it occurred to Eddie that it wasn’t going to be an easy ride. Not only did he have no idea where he was heading, since Richie refused to tell him, but also the second Richie got into his car he could feel the tension around them.

Richie looked grumpy, uncharacteristically so. Eddie didn’t know him that well to actually argue that it was uncharacteristic for Richie to be acting that way, but it did seem pretty suspicious that the only time he had seen Richie smile that day had been before he had seen Eddie. It had been downhill from that point forward.

Eddie didn’t want to admit to himself that he knew what was going on. Admitting that he was part of the problem would fuck him up too much. Richie might have been stressed out by the situation but Eddie’s presence was making it even worse. It was a hard punch to his ego, but Eddie could sympathize with Richie’s anger. 

He would watch Richie from time to time from the corner of his eye but Richie didn’t even seem to notice. He was staring out of the passenger’s window, like the lampposts passing by were the only thing worthy of attention. His eyes looked bored but his foot was rapidly tapping. Eddie wasn’t sure if maybe he also felt uncomfortable or if he was just in a hurry. He liked the second option better.

Eddie decided that he couldn’t take the silence much longer without driving the two of them straight out of a cliff, so against all his inhibitions he opened his mouth.

“So,” he started, hating already the inflection of his voice. He cleared his throat and continued, “what have you been up to?”

He mentally slapped himself for what was probably the most awkward question he had ever made. Luckily - or maybe unfortunately - Richie kept looking out with the same bored out expression.

“Not much.”

Eddie tried not making his frustration visible but his grip on the steering wheel stiffened.

“Cool,” he said fighting off the sour feeling in his mouth. “you still working at the pub crawl?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

He was relieved to hear more than two syllables this time but the neutral tone of Richie’s voice was inexplicably making his blood boil. Richie could've at least tried not to make the situation a living hell.

“Sometimes?” Fuck it. He could also answer in two syllables.

Finally, that got an actual reaction out of Richie as he sighed and turned to look at him. Eddie couldn’t see him that well as his eyes focused on the road, but he could tell he still had that unimpressed look.

“What’s with the small talk?”

Eddie felt his cheeks heat up, his frustration turning into anger. Fuck him if he thought he was gonna shut up and be all embarrassed.

“You know, that line gets old if you use it every time someone tries to have a conversation with you.”

He heard the other man scoff next to him.

“Suddenly feel like knowing me now, huh?”

“I’m just trying to keep things civilized, Richie.”

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed but I’m not exactly on the mood for keeping things civilized here.”

Eddie groaned loudly, “fine, then go apeshit! See if I care!”

“Wow, Edward, what happened with knowing my shit?” Richie’s voice got slightly louder and he used a condescending tone that made Eddie want to stop the car and rip Richie apart with his own fingers, “let’s see, where should I start? Job’s been alright, I still get paid slightly above the average to meet the end of the month. The old lady that lives across me is still nagging me about the noise I make when I get home-“

“Don’t be fucking patronizing,” Eddie interrupted but Richie kept going with his weird monologue.

“-she should know, I mean her dog? Fucking ball of rage that explodes every time it sees anything that moves-“

“You think you’re fucking hilarious, don’t you?”

“- I’ll put a fucking carrot in its mouth next time. Speaking of carrots, the store right around the corner-“

“Fine, fine, fine!” Eddie intervened loud enough to stop Richie’s one-man show, “forget I fucking even asked, Jesus!”

They fell into a very tensed silence that lasted only a few seconds since it was really clear for both of them that there were still things that hadn’t been said out loud. Luckily, Eddie got the first word this time.

“I just don’t get why you have to be like this!”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Was I supposed to be all sweet and funny and sing a song or something?”

Eddie tried to keep up a normal speed, but it was getting really difficult not stepping on the pedal to let his frustration out.

“I’m just saying you don’t have to act like-“

“Like what?”

“Like a child!”

“Why shouldn’t I? I shouldn’t even be in this situation! I could be having drinks with my best friend, talking with people that actually wanted to talk to me. But no, I’m here, with no drinks, no Bev, taking care of shit I shouldn’t have to and, oh, I also have to be fucking thankful because how could I have ever managed without you and your generosity!” Richie stopped for a second to let out a loud groan, “so yeah, I get to be a child.”

Eddie took a moment before answering, “I didn’t help you for that reason, Richie.”

He saw Richie’s head turn his way, “Oh, really? Because it seems to me like you saw the perfect opportunity for a _reckoning_ ,” he added that last part with a strange accent.

Eddie found it stupidly infuriating and charming that even like this Richie had to take a second to be funny.

“Fuck you.”

He could still feel Richie’s eyes on him, and it was driving him insane. He was mad, he also felt like an idiot, but he was also very self-conscious of Richie looking at him. And when he didn’t have anything else but a ‘fuck you’ to add, Richie made sure to drive him even more insane.

“Really? That’s it?”

Luckily for both of them and for the integrity of his car, there was a red light. Otherwise, Eddie would have just stopped the car to confront Richie with the green light. He turned to look at the other man with his eyes filled with rage. Richie sat there looking directly at him, one foot resting over his knees and his hands on his jacket. The stare he gave Eddie was as equally charged than his.

“Yeah, fuck you. That’s it because I think that no matter what I say you’ll find a way to be fucking pissed. At me, at the person you’re missing or the lack of drinks. It doesn’t matter what it is, the same way it doesn’t matter if I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart, or out of guilt. If you're gonna be pissed the whole ride I might as well be too. I'm fucking sorry that I tried talking to you, Richie. So fuck the small talk, fuck your stupid drinks and fuck you.”

A honk brought him back to reality. The light was green again, he had no idea how long it had been but he very quickly put his foot back on the pedal and started driving again towards probably their last destination together.

“You have some spine, Eds,” Richie said after what felt like hours.

“Not my name,” Eddie answered in an angry murmur.

He could feel Richie’s eyes back on him and he threw him a quick warning look his way. But Richie kept staring at him. If he disliked him that much why did he kept staring?

“You really are not gonna say anything then,” Richie said with a calmer voice. Like he had sounded back at the gallery.

Eddie sighed, “What do you even want me to say?”

Richie huffed out a laugh, “Oh, I don’t know, ‘sorry’ could be a good place to start, right?”

Eddie’s jaw tensed up.

“Would it change anything?”

Only then he felt Richie’s eyes leave. Richie turned his head back to the window beside him and stared out of it instead.

“I guess no. Not really.”

Eddie gulped, unsuccessfully trying to push the guilt away.

The rest of the trip was a strange mix of awkwardness and silent rage. The radio was on, but not even the late-night hits station could take his mind away from the fact that Richie was still right next to him. Or from the things he had said.

Soon enough his mind was overflowing with thoughts. Had he done the right thing? Of course, he had! Okay, but not really. But why should he even feel guilty? It’s not like they had actually dated. But that’s what made it worse. Not knowing where their relationship stood killed Eddie. Was Richie only a guy he had fucked or was it more like ‘a guy I wish I had dated but was too coward to actually do anything about it’? What did Richie even think about their entire situation? Eddie tried to stop himself from overthinking, but every time he did he was back to square one.

Jesus, he was a trainwreck.

The GPS finally took him out of his thoughts. They were there.

Eddie didn’t know what he had been expecting but a convenience store was not what he had in mind.

He pulled over at the side of the road, and read the red letters in front of him.

“So,” he started, “your friend has been waiting all this time on a convenience store?”

“Yeah,” Richie answered as he opened the door and got out.

Eddie wasn’t sure if he should get out and follow him. He was pretty sure that whatever possibility there was of reconciliation or any type of friendliness for that matter had left the car long before Richie had. Maybe, it was better leaving it like that. He was about to star up the motor again when he noticed Bill texting him.

_Hey hey hey hey_

_can you get_ _chips_

_and dip?_

_some beers would be nice too pls_

_also when r u gonna be here_

Eddie looked at the text without unlocking his phone. Then he looked as Richie got inside the store.

Well wasn’t this fucking convenient.

“Chips and beer,” he murmured to himself, “easy.”

He wasn’t following Richie. He was only getting food and drinks for his friends waiting at home. Richie and he were done before they had even started. There was no need to be upset about it. Richie was just a guy, not even a really cool one either way.

Eddie opened the door in the middle of a heated argument between Richie and the clerk, who judging by their tone, had met Richie before.

“-what am I supposed to do then?” asked the woman with her arms crossed.

“Fucking stop him, Lucy! Are you fucking-“

The woman, Lucy, finally noticed Eddie’s presence and threw a warning glance at Richie. Richie turned around and the desperate look on his face only grew when he saw Eddie standing in front of them.

“You’re still here?” he asked in a calmer voice than what he had used before. It didn’t come out in a mean way, just in a very confused one.

“Yeah,” said Eddie walking inside of the store to get his things.

The store wasn’t that big so he could still hear Richie yell out a, “why?” from the front.

“You guys know each other?” he heard Lucy intervene.

“Yeah!” Eddie answered from the back as he chose two six-packs to take home.

“Kinda,” added Richie quickly. Eddie got back to the register with a six-pack in each hand. "He drove me here."

Lucy let out a short but loud laugh, “you drove him here?”

“Yeah,” he offered a hand to Lucy, which she shook, “I’m Eddie.”

“Lucy.”

“Eddie just go home, would you?” this time Richie did sound angrier than before, which only fired up the part of Eddie’s brain that made him snarky.

“I need some chips and dip, asshole.”

“Right here on the left,” added Lucy

Eddie gave her a small thanks and went down the small corridor.

“I like him,” he heard Lucy said.

“Yeah, whatever,” Richie answered quickly and then continued with a quieter but no less angry voice. “Did he say where he was going to go?”

Lucy let out a sigh, “I don’t know, man. I tried to hold him up for a while but there’s only so much I can do on my own, Rich, I'm literally working. Have you tried calling him?”

“His phone was dead last time I tried.”

“Well, he spent a good ten minutes charging it over there. Try again.”

Eddie hadn’t been thinking too much on the chips or dip so he took the first he saw while he eavesdropped on the strange conversation that was happening. Once they stopped talking Eddie walked back to Lucy. Richie was outside probably trying to contact the man in question.

While he paid, Eddie couldn’t help the way his eyes shifted to Richie’s figure talking desperately into the phone outside.

Lucy’s voice snapped him out of it.

“So how did you guys meet?”

Eddie looked at the woman across the counter with big eyes as if he had been just caught stealing her food instead of paying for it.

He cleared his throat, “we kinda slept together a while ago,” Lucy nodded with an impressed look on her face at Eddie’s honesty. “What about you two?”

“I’m friends with Alan.”

Eddie furrowed his brow, “Alan?”

Lucy looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes but replied, “the guy Richie’s looking for.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t even know who he was looking for?”

Eddie struggled with his words, “it was all kinda spontaneous.”

Lucy raised her eyebrows as she put his things on a small paper bag, “so you really wanna get in his pants again, huh?”

His cheeks heat up in an instant, and before he could even reply Richie was walking back inside.

“And?” Lucy asked.

“He’s gonna be waiting in Tunel,” Richie replied, “give me a pack of smokes please.”

“I told him to stay away from that shithole," she said putting the cigarettes on the counter. "Is he already there?”

“He’s gonna be there in an hour, said he had something to take care of before.”

Lucy raised her eyebrows and shook her head, “would you please try knocking some sense into him?”

Richie opened the pack of cigarettes as soon as he gave the money to Lucy, “since when am I someone that knocks sense into people?”

Lucy rolled her eyes, “he listens to you.”

Richie rolled his eyes but didn't add anything.

Eddie was feeling more and more uncomfortable by the second. Who the hell was Alan? What was he even doing there anymore? He struggled to take the bag and the two six-packs on his hands, “I’m gonna leave now.” He looked at Lucy, “nice to meet you.”

“You too,” said Lucy with a genuine smile.

His eyes landed on Richie and when he realized that Richie was looking at him too, his feet automatically started moving out of the store. Maybe it was because Lucy’s words were still hanging in the air over his head but he couldn’t handle it anymore. Whatever game his mind was playing on him was too much. One second he disliked Richie and was unapologetic with their entire situation and the next one he felt like helping him, like making things right between the two of them.

He needed to get home. Drink with his friends. Masturbate. Anything, literally, anything to stop his stupid thoughts.

Eddie put his purchase on the back seat and as he turned to open the driver's door his eyes went back to the entrance of the store. Richie had just stepped outside. He stood in front of him, that strange look still on his eyes, but he looked calmer than before. He had left the cigarette behind his ear and the light coming from the convenience store shone through his wild curls.

Fuck, Eddie needed to get out of there.

“You’re leaving?”

Eddie straightened his back, and exhaled through his nose, ready for the next nonsense Richie was willing to throw his way.

“Don’t worry about it, this time is for real.”

Richie nodded, “Hey, at least you're giving me a warning now.”

 _Low blow_ , Eddie thought. Though another part thought he deserved it.

He went to open get in the car and get out of there but Richie’s voice stopped him.

“Okay, fuck,” he looked back to Richie, who was now scratching his head and seemed less composed than before, “I’m a dick I know. It’s just a bad night.”

Eddie shifted on his feet, afraid that Richie's opening up was just going to lead them back into an argument.

He didn’t know what to say so he settled with, “I can see that.”

Richie stared at him a few seconds, “can you help me again?”

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest, “I thought you wanted me to go home.”

“Yeah, but the person that I’m looking for-“

“Alan,” interrupted Eddie.

Richie let out a small sigh and nodded, “right Alan. I need to meet him at a bar, and I could use some help getting there.”

Eddie shook his head in disbelief, “I don’t get it, Richie. First, you don’t want me anywhere near you and now-“

“Okay, I know, I was a dick back there, but I just-“ he struggled with his words, “You just have to understand that I wasn't expecting this. Especially the part where you came out of nowhere to help me in your shitty car.”

“What the fuck-”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

Eddie thought about it for a second. Was ist a smart idea embarking on a stupid adventure with Richie late at night? Searching for ‘Alan’, who he still didn’t know what his relationship with Richie was? He arrived at the conclusion that he really should go home.

“Fuck it, I’ll help,” Richie’s face lit up and for a moment Eddie was reminded why he had liked Richie so much. “One condition, though.”

“Gee, I hope it’s a sexy one.”

He was also reminded of how fucking embarrassed he could make him.

“You let me help you until this is over. None of that sending me home shit. You want my help? It’s all or nothing.”

Richie nodded, considering Eddie's condition. “It could take a while, Eddie,” warned Richie.

“Yes or no?” insisted Eddie.

Richie nodded, “you make it hard to say no, Edward. It’s a yes," he then added, “I also have a condition.”

“What is it?”

Richie took some steps closer to him. There was still some distance between them but Eddie’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Richie so close to him.

“No talking about, you know, what happened. We already saw that it can get ugly.”

Eddie gulped before answering, “agreed.”

Richie offered him a small smile and patted him on the shoulder before walking away and getting into the passenger side. Eddie took a moment before getting in and starting up the car.

It wasn’t complicated. An entire night with Richie without mentioning their entire weird history. He could manage.

“Okay,” he said turning the key, “let’s try this again.”

To which he saw Richie smile.

Yeah, he could do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alt title: Eddie attempts small talk several times   
> alt. title 2: angsty richie????? is more likely than u think


	3. part 2 - confront karma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is taking me a while im sorry my dudes  
> if you like the story please stick with me and also don't be afraid to let me know!  
> this is gonna have five chapters now because I said so

There was a noticeable change the second time around. Richie wasn’t just sitting next to him and looking out of the window. It still wasn't one hundred percent the Richie he had met before, but it was close enough. He wasn’t scared of changing the radio station when he saw fit, didn’t mind whistling out the tunes of some songs, or commenting a few things here and there. It was mostly trivial, like random facts about songs they were hearing or a small anecdote about his work at the radio station.

Neutral and harmless. Richie would speak, Eddie would listen, sometimes laugh or even say something himself.

He really felt like making a joke about small talk, but that was an incredibly loaded thing to say considering their history. And he didn’t feel like saying anything stupid that would get them back to square one, so he mostly stayed on his comfort zone, not saying much and laughing when needed to. But Eddie could only stay quiet for so long. And his curiosity was killing him.

Who the fuck was Alan and why was Richie so desperate to find him?

For all he knew Richie wanted to propose to the guy and then Eddie would have to drive the two of them back to Richie’s place since he had wanted to be included all the way through.

On the other hand, Lucy was Alan’s friend and hadn’t seemed hostile toward Eddie when he told her he had slept with Richie in the past. She had even seemed encouraging of it happening again. It gave him the feeling that maybe Richie was still single.

He had to stop himself from thinking.

Why did he even care anymore?

He felt so desperate suddenly. Helping out this guy because he liked him a little bit and they had had sex before. What did Eddie even want out of this?

In a way, he wanted to make things right, so Richie had pretty much been right about that when he confronted him before. But that wasn’t all of it, though. Sure, it was one of his main reasons to make things square between them. Eddie had done Richie wrong after all. But with each passing minute, he found himself more and more drawn to the way that Richie spoke to him, to his stupid little comments and the way his voice sounded when he spoke.

He hated admitting it but Eddie _wanted_ to know if he was still single. He doubted that Richie wanted anything to do with him anymore, but at least his mind would be in peace if he asked.

However, he needed to find a casual way of asking, without sounding suspicious.

“So,” he started after a moment of silence, “what’s the deal with this Alan guy? Why are we looking for him?”

Richie shifted on his seat, “it’s a long story. I don’t wanna bore you with the details.”

Eddie could see through that attempt of an excuse but decided not to push for more information and instead tried directing the conversation himself.

“Is he your dealer or something?” he asked with a teasing smile.

Richie huffed out a small laugh, “not exactly.”

Eddie was about to explode right then and there. Richie could talk thirty minutes non-stop about the best songs of the eighties but he couldn’t answer one simple question.

Eddie tried a more direct approach.

“But what _are_ you guys, like, is he your friend?”

Richie let out a big laugh this time, “is this your way of asking if I’m still single?”

Eddie’s blood rushed to his face, and he knew that Richie could see it, but he tried to keep a straight face and not give away how uncomfortable he was.

“Shut up, can’t I just ask why are we looking for this guy?”

“I just don’t feel like talking about it,” Richie answered in a calm voice, but Eddie could hear a hint of something else in it.

Fuck it, it was time to push things.

“So are you?”

“What?”

“Still single?” Eddie asked trying not to spit is heart out with each word.

Richie was silent for a second as his eyes roamed Eddie’s body. Eddie couldn’t see the exact face he was making but he could feel the intense way Richie was looking at him.

“Mister Spaghetti,” Richie started with am exaggerated offended voice, “isn’t this a breach on condition number two?”

Okay, now Eddie was fuming.

“No it’s not,” he said with a raised volume.

“How would you feel if I asked you that?” Eddie was about to answer that he was still very single but Richie cut him off, “no, no, no! Don’t answer that!”

“Why not?!”

“‘Cause it’s a breach!” he could hear the smile on Richie’s voice and he hated it.

“How is answering that or asking if you’re single a breach?!”

Richie kept his amused, shit-eating tone at his exasperation, “you know very well why!”

“No! People ask each other these types of things!” his voice got louder and his face hotter with each word he spoke, “you know? Things like ‘what’s new on the job, how’s your mom-“

“-How _is_ your mom by the way?-“

“-have you met someone that makes you puke out butterflies? Those things!”

“I think you’re confused about how love feels, man.”

“I’ve only had one boyfriend in my entire life, of course, I’m confused.”

Richie opened his mouth about to reply but was taken back by Eddie’s sentence. “Oh, you little shit.”

It was finally Eddie’s turn to smile.

“What?” he asked with faux innocence.

“You know what you just did.”

“No, I don’t,” he added throwing a small glance at Richie.

“You answered the question!”

“I didn’t-“

“Not explicitly, but-“

“Then it’s not a breach. Also, it’s not like we signed anything or made specific clauses on the matter, so yeah you can’t get me back at that.”

Richie huffed out a laugh, “business fucking majors, am I right?”

Eddie was about to say something clever to finish his argument, and maybe also pressure Richie into telling him his relationship status when his phone started ringing. He could see on top of the screen Stan’s name.

Fuck he hadn’t told them about his change of plans. And that that change of plans involved Richie.

Just thinking of the inappropriate things they could blurt out if he answered made him anxious. So he decided to pretend like he wasn’t clearly getting a call.

It wasn’t long until Richie commented, “don’t you wanna get that?”

Eddie shook his head, “I’m driving.”

“Huh.”

When Richie didn’t push the subject any further Eddie was surprised but incredibly relieved.

The phone rang a few more seconds but then stopped. Eddie let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding in. As he did he could feel Richie’s eyes on him again. He kept driving trying to seem unfazed but he still felt like his skin was burning up.

And then to make things worse his phone started ringing again. Their eyes went directly to the screen in front of them, which had been previously showing the directions. Eddie knew that Richie could see Stan’s name on the screen.

“Maybe it’s important,” he said.

“Believe me, it’s not,” Eddie answered back.

“Booty call?”

Eddie let out a small laugh, “yeah, no, nothing like that. It’s my friend.”

“Well then maybe they need something.”

“No, he doesn’t. Besides, I’m driving.”

Richie stared at him for a few seconds before saying, “you know, I can literally put it on speaker for you.”

Eddie was getting more and more anxious by the second, “you really shouldn’t.”

His answer was way too quickly and as soon as he spat it out he was already regretting it.

Richie had lost the last round but he was planning on winning this one.

“Aw, come on, Eds! Your homeboy could be dying!”

“-Richie, no-“

“-then I’ll just pick up for you-“

“Alright, no! Just put it on speaker!”

He could fucking sense Richie’s smug grin on his bones and if his hands hadn’t been on the steering wheel, Eddie would have strangled him.

As Richie answered the call Eddie prayed for his friends to behave.

“Eddie,” he heard Stan say in a serious voice but there was music playing on the background.

Before he could even answer Bill was shouting, “Eddie! Where are you, man, what the fuck?”

Eddie shook his head in silent disappointment. He knew that voice and it meant that Bill was wasted. That was his luck after all.

“Are you guys for real?” he answered with a stern voice. He knew Richie was already having fun with the situation but he wasn’t about to give him the entire show for free.

“You said,” Stan continued with his neutral voice, although now Eddie could trace some hints of intoxication in his voice too, “that you would get chips.”

“-and dip!” screamed Bill on the background.

His eyes met Richie’s for a second. He looked very amused. Eddie only hoped that he didn’t look too tense.

“Yeah, huh, sorry guys, I should’ve told you-”

Richie’s arm reached over to the back and grabbed one of the six-packs he had bought.

“Dude,” Bill continued, “are you even coming?”

Eddie threw Richie a warning look but Richie just smiled and struggled to get one of the bottles open.

“Yeah, fuck, uh, no. Aren’t you supposed to be like busy either way? You know, solving your things. I don’t wanna interrupt.”

“Eddie, we are clearly drunk already and beyond the point of talking,” intervened Stan. “And we need more beer and food. So could you just come over?”

Before Eddie could reply, he saw Richie put the bottle cap between his teeth, which was immediately followed with a loud, “ouch!”

“Can you stop that?” Eddie murmured angrily.

“Uhhhh,” he heard Bill sing-song in an annoying tone and as soon as he did, Eddie knew he was done for, “here I was thinking you’re all alone, man. But it looks like you’re doing alright, huh?”

Eddie decided to act as naturally as he could. Divert the conversation to literally anything else. “Yeah, you guys might want to get something to eat without me. I got kinda busy.”

The other end of the line stayed silent for a few seconds.

Until Stan added, “slut.”

He heard his friends laugh and to his side, Richie choked on the beer he had somehow managed to get open.

Eddie’s cheeks reddened, and lucky they were driving through a very empty street, otherwise he would have crashed minutes ago.

“Fuck off,” he replied, “I’ll explain tomorrow-“

“Looks like someone is doing alright after all,” commented Stan.

Bill laughed, “fuck, right! Hey, man, we’re proud of you! If- what’s his name? If big dick Rich isn’t going to put out-“

“Mikecontrolyourassholesbye,” Eddie shouted and then immediately reached over and ended the call.

If he had been burning before, it was much much worse now. Not only did he feel sweaty, angry and unbelievably ashamed, but he had to go through all those emotions knowing that Richie had heard it all. Richie was probably feeling as uncomfortable as he. Eddie tensed his jaw, stopping himself from adding any kind of comment, explanation or joke that could fuck it up even more. His eyes focused solely on the road as he tried to avoid Richie’s stare form his side.

Richie shifted on his seat and he heard him take another sip of the beer.

He cleared his throat and asked, “your friends?”

Eddie couldn’t quite tell what Richie’s intention was since his voice sounded too neutral. Maybe he was genuinely interested in knowing or maybe he was just trying to shift the subject. Whichever reason it was, Eddie still struggled some seconds finding his voice.

“Yeah, theoretically.” He thought of mentioning that Richie actually knew all of them but he arrived at the conclusion that it maybe wasn’t the best moment. “They are messy drunks.”

Richie hummed, “I know a few of them.”

Only then Eddie allowed himself to give Richie a glance since he wasn’t sure if Richie meant that as a funny little comment or as a passive-aggressive remark. When he spotted Richie looking directly at him with a teasing smile, Eddie had to look back to the road again. He was still very embarrassed but he couldn’t fight back the small smile that appeared on his lips.

“Shut up,” he murmured.

Richie took another sip of the beer, “I’m just saying. You guys have something in common.”

Eddie pushed his tongue against the side of his cheek trying to stop his smile from growing, “dude, what the hell happened with condition number two, huh?”

“Well, it kinda flew out the window when your friend called me-“

“Please, don’t,” Eddie cut in, “too soon.”

Richie laughed, “I mean, I do feel kinda objectified. But in a flattering way. It’s better to be remembered by your big dick than not remembered at all.”

Eddie groaned loudly, “I’m gonna fucking kill Bill.”

“Calm down, Uma Thurman. He did have a big solid point, you can’t kill him for that.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “fine, then I’ll just fucking slap him a few times.”

“Mmm, sounds like sweet revenge.”

Richie took another sip of the beer.

“This is so fucking unfair,” Eddie said, “you get to sit there, drink my beer, listen to my friends ridicule the shit out of me, and all I can do about it is drive.”

“Well I don’t wanna say karma is a bitch-“

“-but karma is a bitch?”

Richie laughed and for a second Eddie didn’t really mind Richie sitting next to him, drinking all his beer while he could only drive. He did mind Bill ridiculing the shit out of him. But the other things he felt he could actually live with.

“Here,” said Richie.

He put his hand on the back of Eddie’s seat, the cushion slightly sinking under it. Eddie didn’t understand at first but then he saw Richie leaning in - which made him feel very nervous again - bringing the bottle closer to his face.

“Richie, I’m still driving."

“Just take a small sip, dude. It’ll calm you down for a second,” Eddie was about to protest but then Richie added, “or should I start talking about your friend’s big _big_ comment again.”

Eddie groaned again, “fuck it, give me.”

Richie laughed again and closed the gap between Eddie’s lips and the bottle. He started slowly inclining the bottle so that Eddie wouldn’t choke on the beer and for a second it worked. But then Eddie couldn’t keep drinking and since he had no other way of showing Richie that it was enough he ended up choking either way. Richie removed the bottle quickly and Eddie coughed some of the drink out of his throat. 

“Better?” asked Richie.

“Better.”

He offered Richie a small smile and tried to keep his eyes on the road. They fell into a half comfortable half uncomfortable silence. Eddie was still embarrassed but at least Richie hadn't taken Bill’s comment badly. Even if it was extremely inappropriate. He could see how someone like Richie could take something like that more lightly than Eddie asking whether he was still single or not.

The radio which had been quietly playing on the background was now the main source of noise in the car. Eddie decided to keep his silence for the time being and give each of them a little bit of space.

That would have been nice if it hadn't been for the next song.

The first few notes were impossible not to recognize and his lungs immediately lost all breath.

He knew that Richie could feel it too since the bottle went straight to his lips again. Richie gave him a side glance to which he also added an awkward smile too.

Why did this happen constantly with them? Every time Eddie thought that they could actually manage to relax and be natural around each other the universe had a way to remind them that they actually shouldn't.

As the first words started, Eddie slowly reached for the buttons on the panel.

“Should I-?” he started asking.

“I mean,” Richie cut in before he could change the station, “it’s a very good song.”

Eddie’s hand returned slowly to the steering wheel as he nodded.

They listened to the song together. Neither really said anything, Richie would hum the melody or quietly sing the parts he knew but he didn't really comment on the song. Unlike the last time they had heard it together

Eddie tried not to think too much about that time. Or what had come after. However, his mind wandered off to those memories, spreading warmth through his body. He wasn't sure if the feeling came from being embarrassed or-

“You should park over here,” Richie said interrupting his thoughts, “we can walk the rest.”

Eddie nodded and followed Richie’s instructions. He had just realized that he had no idea where they were. That part of town was unknown to him. The streets looked empty but the lights coming out of the building indicated something different. And when they stepped out of the car, Eddie could hear muffled music, so even if nothing was happening outside he figured that on the inside it was different.

Eddie walked over to Richie’s side. He still had the beer on his hands and was trying to light a cigarette with the same hand.

He took the bottle from his hand, “give me that.”

Richie managed to light his cigarette. A cloud of smoke came out of his mouth as he smiled at Eddie.

“You can drink now.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “I’m gonna probably have to drive you to some other place later, so no.”

“Not really. When Alan comes I’m probably just gonna take him home so you don't have to worry about that.”

There was that strange sting of jealousy again. Eddie tried not making it too visible but the words ‘take him home’ sounded incredibly intimate coming from Richie’s mouth.

He tried to play it cool though.

“We’ll see about that. I told you I’m gonna be here until the end though.”’

Richie smiled again, “that you did.” He took the bottle back from Eddie’s hands and poured some of the liquor into his mouth, “suit yourself then.”

Richie started walking toward, what Eddie supposed, was the place they were going to find Alan.

Richie kept switching between the bottle and his cigarette. Eddie stared at him slightly fascinated but mostly concerned.

“At the speed, you smoke those-“

“Here it comes.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “you already know what I think.”

“Yup. When it comes to the cancer stick, I’ve heard it all before Eddie-boy!” Richie said with too bright of a smile for them to be talking about the side effects of cigarettes.

“Well if you’ve heard it all before then you probably don't need me to tell you how much those will fuck up your body.”

“My body is already a dumpster.”

Eddie scoffed quietly, “now that's a fucking lie,” he murmured.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he replied maybe too quickly.

Richie gave him a side glance but for once in his life, he dropped the subject before Eddie could get too awkward.

Richie suddenly stopped outside one of the bars on the street. Eddie stepped back and took a look at the place. He understood what Lucy had meant with ‘shithole’ before. The neon sign outside spelled out ‘T NNE ‘ instead of tunnel, one of the windows was broken and fixed with black security tape, and the street outside was full of empty bottles.

Was this the place where Richie’s dream man had been waiting?

He turned to ask a less intense variant of that question to Richie, but he was focused on his phone typing quickly, the rest of his cigarette still in his mouth and the bottle under his arm. Eddie stared for a second at Richie, then at the street and the bar again, until Richie let out a sigh and put his phone away.

“So?” Asked Eddie.

“Well,” he said putting out the cigarette, “we have to wait for him.”

Eddie frowned, “why don’t we just go pick him up wherever he is?”

Richie sighed, “believe me, it’s not that easy with him. It’s better if we meet him where he told us.”

“Okay?” Eddie let out, still feeling unconvinced by their plan. “Do you wanna wait back in the car then?”

Richie huffed out a loud smile, “are you kidding? We’re in a bar, let’s just wait here.”

“Really? In this place?” grimaced Eddie.

“It’s not as bad as it seems. Come on, we’ll get you something to loosen up and stop worrying about everything.”

“Richie, there’s literally beer in the car.”

“Yeah, but not tequila.”

“I’m not drinking tequila if I’m gonna be driving you through town.”

“Okay, okay, but dude let’s just wait here. Please?”

Something about Richie that last second seemed off. Eddie still had no idea who Alan was, and even if he got a wave of jealousy every time Richie said his name he wasn't blind to the fact that Richie was clearly worried about him.

And if waiting for him in a ‘shithole’ was going to be the only way of getting him back then Eddie thought he could make the effort.

Eddie looked around the dirty street secretly wishing Alan showed up, but when he didn’t he shrugged and sighed.

“No tequila though.”

Richie smiled, clearly relieved.

“You have my word.”

He then reached for the half crooked door and opened it.

“After you, mister Spagedward,” he added with an exaggerated British accent.

Eddie groaned but entered the bar.

If he had thought it was bad outside he hadn't been ready for the inside. The air was almost unbreathable. Loud rock was playing and everyone inside, man, woman or neither looked like they could kick his ass. It didn’t help that he felt stared down the second he stepped inside.

He had unconsciously stopped right on his tracks looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Richie nudged him and made him move.

“Come on you snob.”

Eddie started walking feeling like he was in a trance as he tried not to focus on the people that could clearly see he didn’t belong there.

There was an empty booth table on the far left corner of the bar. Richie made him sit there.

“Stay here, I’ll get us something to drink while we wait.”

Eddie nodded and sat down. Once Richie was gone he wasn’t sure where to look so he decided to keep his eyes on his hands. He reached for his phone thinking maybe he could find a distraction on his messages. Maybe Stan and Bill were still blowing up his phone. But as he unblocked it he realized that not only he had no new messages but that his battery was running low. So he decided to put it aside as not to drain it more.

He was almost relieved when Richie came back to the table but then he saw the small plastic tray he had with him and the shot glasses in it. Eddie’s face shifted immediately from uneasiness to annoyance as Richie put the tray in the table and sat across from him.

He let out a small groan and shifted for a few seconds before realizing that Eddie was staring at him with silent anger.

“What?”

“I said no tequila, Richard.”

“Uh, full name. That’s new.”

“I’m serious.”

“Well,” Richie started as he took off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his button-up shirt. Eddie had to remind himself that he was mad as he stared at Richie’s bare arms. “This isn't tequila.”

“They are shots. Do you want me to have a car crash?”

“Only half of them are,” Richie explained like it was obvious.

Eddie frowned, “what?”

“I thought we could play a fun little round of ‘water or vodka’”

“That doesn’t sound like a good game...”

“No, it’s really fun! Okay so basically you choose a random glass and I have to guess by your expression whether it is vodka or water.”

“So... five of these are water?”

“Exactly.”

Richie sounded way too excited to play a game that was probably gonna fuck up both of their livers.

“How is this any fun?”

“Let’s play and you’ll find out.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes, “okay, but there is literally nothing on the line here. You guess correctly and then what? You win one imaginary point or something?”

Richie gave him an impressed look, “ well, then put something on the line. What do you suggest?”

Eddie thought about it for a second, trying not to get too affected by Richie’s intense stare.

Finally, he got an idea.

“If I guess right, you have to answer a question. Truthfully.”

Richie stared at him with an amused smile, “so like a game of twenty questions huh?”

Eddie shrugged, “something like that.”

Richie laughed again, “who’s the fuckboy now?”

Eddie felt his face get hotter the embarrassment making him snap instantly.

“Whatever, at least it’s not just binge drinking.”

“Okay, okay,” said Richie trying to reach a compromise, but still with that amused look on his face, “let’s do it your way. So if you lose, you answer and if I lose I answer, is that it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, since you made the new rules, you can start,” added Richie with a sly smile.

Eddie murmured under his breath, “you fuck-“, but chose one of the shots.

The second he put it close to his mouth he could feel the strong scent of vodka. It smelled incredibly strong and he immediately regretted adding the twist in the game since there was no way he could hide his disgust. He downed it as quickly as he could but his throat still burned from it. Across from him, he heard Richie laugh as he tried to open his eyes again.

“Well, Eddie I must say,” he spoke between laughs, “I was kind of worried about your new rule. But now that I had the pleasure of witnessing that I’ll definitely go with...” he made a little drumroll on the table with his hands, “vodka.”

Eddie pushed the empty glass to the side, already dreading Richie’s question, “did you chose the worst vodka in the world on propose, asshole?”

Richie laughed but ignored his question as he placed a hand on his chin and started teasing Eddie, “I wonder what I could ask…”

“Come on,” insisted Eddie with an unimpressed look on his face.

Richie took a few more seconds with his act until finally, his eyes settled on Eddie and he asked, “what do you think of this place?”

Disappointment wasn’t really what Eddie was feeling, but he definitely had expected something less subtle than that question.

“Really?”

Richie nodded, “truthfully.”

Eddie looked around them, just to make sure that no one was around them hearing whatever he had to say about it.

“It’s dirty,” he answered, sounding like a question.

“Please,” said Richie making a gesture with his hand, “elaborate on that.”

Eddie sighed, “well for starters this table is sticky. I can’t even see the wall with all the things it has on it. The vodka tastes incredibly shit. I can barely breathe with all the smoke and everyone here could easily kick my ass. Is that enough?”

Richie smirked, “I knew you were a control freak.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “I think that has been well established before.”

“Why tho?”

“Oh, no. If you want me to tell you about my childhood trauma you’ll have to wait, it’s your turn,” he said gesturing to the tray.

Richie huffed out a laugh but took one of the shots. Unlike Eddie, he didn’t stop to smell it and put it directly into his mouth. He swallowed the drink quickly and Eddie had no way of telling if it had been water or vodka since Richie seemed as unbothered as before.

Richie put the empty shot aside and looked at Eddie in the eye, “so what was it?”

Eddie wasn’t even close enough to smell his breath. He stared at Richie’s confident face and decided to take a guess.

“Vodka.”

Richie held his stare for a second and then dropped his head down and cursed. Eddie’s eyes lit up.

“Did I get it?!”

“Yeah, you got it,” said Richie, looking less confident than before, “lucky guess?”

Eddie wasn’t about to admit that so he just shrugged trying to seem mysterious even if his smile gave it up.

He knew exactly what he wanted to ask Richie. Was he or wasn’t he in a relationship with Alan? He also wanted to know why they were looking for him, how had Richie lost Alan at all. Pretty much anything concerning Alan. However, he knew that Richie could call off the game if he didn't like his question, so he tried to work up to it. There were still eight shots left after all, and the chances of Richie opening up increased the more he drank.

So he decided to ease up into it.

And maybe take himself down too.

“What did you think about the… call that I got?”

Of course, Richie looked immediately uncomfortable, Eddie also felt like that but if Richie wasn’t going to ask him about it he might as well do it himself.

This time when Richie laughed it wasn’t bright and cheerful like before but kind of anxious.

“I mean,” he said trying to find the words, “kinda fun?”

Eddie nodded, already hating himself before adding, “elaborate on that.”

He couldn’t help smiling when he used Richie’s teasing words against him. Richie also let out a small laugh.

“Fuck, dude,” he said rubbing his face with his hands, “you’re like full of surprises shit.”

Eddie tried to ignore the weird spark he felt inside his chest when Richie said that and just kept staring at Richie, pressuring him to answer.

“I mean,” Richie finally sounded more grounded, “I still don’t understand what that whole thing was about. Clearly they are your friends and know a lot about your life. So therefore about, huh, me. I don’t know if I had to chose one word I guess it would be… entertaining.”

Eddie laughed, “fuck off.”

Finally, Richie seemed to let go a little bit too and also laughed, “well, watching you drive, struggling with your drunk friends and with me on the passenger seat can only be described as entertaining. They should put that shit on TV.”

“They should give them their own show, to be honest,” said Eddie rolling his eyes.

“They sound kinda fun.”

Eddie hummed and decided to take another shot before they sat in silence again. This time he decided to be as quick as possible drinking it. It was vodka again. He tried to keep some composure but he knew it was visible.

It was pretty much confirmed when Richie asked, “having a bad streak, Eds?”

Eddie swallowed again, trying to get rid of the taste in his mouth, “not my name.”

He could already feel a tingling sensation in his body. He wasn’t exactly a lightweight but Eddie wasn’t the type of person to do vodka shots every day. And as his eyes met Richie’s again, whose amused stare hadn’t stop since they had begun the game, he got even more tingly.

“So,” Richie started, going directly to the matter in question, “have you talked to your ex again?”

Eddie’s eyes widened, his back hitting the leathery seat as he leaned back, “well, now what happened to condition two?”

Richie rolled his eyes, “you already broke it. Also, we’re not in the car anymore.”

“Those weren’t just applicable in the car, Richie,” commented Eddie still with his amused smile.

“Just answer the question, Spaghetti.”

“Only if you don’t call me that.”

Richie shook his head, “not promising anything. Now come on.”

Eddie’s fingers played with the little glass as he thought of his answer, “I mean, yeah. I have. It’s not like the guy doesn’t exist anymore, and like I haven’t seen him around campus either way.”

Richie hummed, his eyes piercing into Eddie, “who’s doing better?”

Eddie decided to ignore the fact that Richie was asking him more than one question. If he was going to get more personal with them, Eddie wasn’t about to stop that.

He laughed, “I honestly don’t know. The times I’ve talked with him have been purely coincidental. I was with him two long boring years but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop if I see him walking around. So yeah, I really don’t actually know how he is,” Eddie focused his eyes on his fingers, “I don’t really know if I care that much,” his eyes went back to Richie. His smile was gone but his eyes were very concentrated on him, “at least I guess I’m doing alright without him.”

Richie stared at him for a few seconds. Maybe a few seconds too long. Eddie wasn’t sure if his blank stare was something good or bad but he could feel a new tension in the air that hadn’t been there before. Or was he perhaps reading too much into it?

Richie didn’t sneak any more questions in. He took another shot of the tray while maintaining eye contact with Eddie. Almost automatically, Eddie gulped.

He stared, searching again for any kind of sign that would give away the answer. But instead of paying attention to any look of discomfort, which he knew he wasn’t going to find anyway, he found himself staring too much at Richie’s features. His eyes, his cheekbones, the way his disheveled hair fell in his forehead. For a long time, he had convinced himself that he wasn’t going to see them again

And there he was.

“So?” Richie said, finally interrupting his thoughts.

Eddie took a breath in before answering. This hadn’t been a good idea.

“I have no idea, what it was,” he admitted.

Richie smiled, "guess?”

Eddie sighed as he tried to go back to his rational brain. The one that wasn’t totally mesmerized with even little aspect of Richie’s face.

“Water?”

Richie’s face shifted slowly to a big grin.

“Fuck,” said Eddie.

“What happened with your luck, Eddie?”

“It never existed in the first place.”

Richie laughed and Eddie had to focus on his hands again because suddenly the alcohol was getting to his head and he wasn’t sure what he was doing or thinking or saying at all. So he avoided Richie’s stare and waited for the next nonsense.

And Richie never disappointed.

“Best spice girl?”

Eddie lifted his head with a furrowed brow, “are you serious?”

Richie shrugged, “it’s a legit question.”

Eddie straightened his back, “is it… my favorite spice girl or your favorite spice girl?”

“Oh, there is a right answer here. But I’m curious whether you know it too.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes. He felt like he needed a vodka shot for that alone.

“Baby spice.”

Richie scoffed, “not the right answer.”

Eddie was sort of offended but a smile still slipped from his lips, “fuck you, that’s my honest answer.”

“Well, your answer his Scary spice erasure. But it’s you who has to live with that, not me.”

Eddie shook his head, “what type of fucking question is that either way, man?”

“I’m a radio host, I live of pop culture questions like that one,” Richie explained, his hands moving with his explanation, “nothing bad with lighting up the mood.”

It hit Eddie. Richie didn’t want to keep the personal questions flowing.

“I don’t really mind the other type of questions,” he confessed.

Richie’s eyes went back to his and even though he felt so overwhelmed under Richie’s gaze he stared back. That was the confidence that two vodka shots could get him.

Richie looked thoughtful. For a second, Eddie thought that Richie was going to say something about it. About the type of questions, Eddie wanted to get from him. The way his eyes narrowed and his smile disappeared suggested that.

But then Richie just said, “your turn.”

His voice was low and commanding. It sent shivers down Eddie’s spine but he still wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. Maybe Richie was pissed and he had been reading their entire situation completely different. He decided not to think too much about the effects of Richie’s voice on his body nor the situation at all and took a shot out of the tray.

There were only five shots left, and the vodka to water ratio had gone down significantly, so he really hoped he was going to get water now. If he was already exponentially more confused and flustered with two shots of vodka he dreaded what three shots would do to his body. Especially considering that he was supposed to drive afterward.

Unless Richie’s plan all along had been getting him too drunk to drive.

He swallowed.

Richie laughed, “Eddie, you make this too easy, dude!” he said slamming his hands on the table, “vodka. Again.”

Eddie set the glass back down on the table and grinned back at Richie. Richie’s small victorious smile died in an instant.

“Oh, you little-“

“The rule of three. It’s water.”

After choosing vodka two times in a row, at least Eddie knew how to fake his reaction to it. So he figured, since he had lost his last turn to Richie’s expressionless expert drinking, he could at least fake this one.

Richie gasped, “that is cheating, Edward! What would your mother say?”

“Well, many things but the last one would be about cheating in a game of ‘vodka or water’”

Richie smiled, “okay, okay, I can accept defeat when it’s well deserved. Go ahead.”

Eddie thought about asking something stupid like Richie had in the last round. He wasn’t sure how comfortable Richie would be answering what he actually wanted to ask. But then again, he was pretty much losing the game. And the time was running out.

“Are you and Alan together?”

Richie’s eyes widened and in his surprise, he only managed to look into Eddie’s eyes. Eddie was waiting for hundredth different answers, where seventy percent of them started with a ‘yes’, but he wasn’t expecting Richie to suddenly start laughing. And when the laughter didn’t stop after a few seconds like it usually did, Eddie started shifting on his seat.

“What?” he asked a little too aggressively, feeling mocked.

Richie finally managed to find a second to stop and breath, “God, it’s that what all of this is about?”

His tone was difficult to read. On one side, he was laughing in the most Richie way, all body engaged and a smile that could light up any room. However, his question was very loaded.

Eddie was confused. And slightly annoyed.

“What?” he asked crossing his arms.

Richie laughed a few seconds more and then finally managed to calm down. He breathed in and out and once his breath was regular he leaned in with his elbows on the table.

“That’s the question, right? The one that started this whole game.”

Richie’s smile was friendly but there was something dark in his eyes.

Eddie wasn’t smiling and he had no intention in hiding his feelings behind a fake smile.

“Why don't you wanna answer it?”

“If the answer is not what you wanna hear, what will you do?”

Eddie narrowed his eyes, “you think I’m gonna ditch you.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

Richie’s smile faded slowly. His eyes went to the table for a few seconds before finally answering, “no, we’re not together.”

Eddie nodded.

Richie leaned back, taking now one of the shots, his shoulders hitting the booth behind him as he swallowed its content. He didn’t wait for Eddie to guess whether it was vodka or water but just asked: “why are you really here, Eddie?”

Apparently the game was over but Richie had still decided he had earned the last question. Eddie mirrored Richie and also took one of the shots.

It was vodka. Good. He was going to need it for his answer.

“For you,” he answered after the burning stopped.

Richie looked intrigued, “why?”

Eddie sighed, “well first, you needed help. And second, I wanted to help you.”

Richie scoffed, “come on, it has to be something more than that.”

It was. There was more than just Richie that had driven him there that day. Could have been guilt, or desire, or many other things. But in the center was always Richie.

Eddie shook his head, “there isn't.”

Richie seemed taken back.

“What do you think of me?”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. That was a loaded question if there had ever been one. So he took one more shot and to his luck, it was vodka again.

“You’re an asshole,” he started, to which Richie smiled too, even though he didn’t look he wanted to smile. “You’re funny. You have this way of doing things that make me really fucking envious.And you can drag me into shit like no one I know. You got me to do shots even though I’m driving for fuck’s sake. That is so fucking irresponsible and stupid and yet here I am. And, fuck, it’s fun even though you totally rigged the game.”

Richie smirked, “oh, you noticed?”

“That right now was the sixth shot of vodka, of course, I noticed.”

“Seventh,” corrected Richie

Eddie rolled his eyes but still put his elbows on the table and leaned in, trying to seem more confident about the next part even though his heart was beating incredibly fast.

“I also think you’re really fucking attractive.”

Richie’s smirked disappeared.

Eddie took another deep breath, “you’re… pretty much the only person I know that makes me feel like this. All fucking weak and shit. I might not look like it but I usually have my shit under control,” he stared at his hands, “there is something about you that just fucks me up. Probably the fact that I keep debating with myself if it would be okay to-“ he sighed and sat back straight, his eyes returning to Richie’s, “it’s just difficult being next to you without thinking of the last time we were together. The good part, I mean.”

Richie nodded slowly.

“So without thinking of sleeping with me.”

Eddie blushed. Fuck it, he had already dug his own grave, “I meant it more like fucking but sure that too.”

Richie lifted his chin. Something in his eyes went dark. Holding his stare was the most difficult thing Eddie had done in a long time, but he was doing it pretty well.

“So you came tonight because you want to fuck me again.”

Eddie felt his body get hotter but shrugged as if he was unaffected, “maybe. I still don’t understand it myself.”

Richie opened his mouth to answer, but before he could something else caught his attention. His hands patting his pockets.

“Fuck,” he muttered, “it might be Alan.”

Suddenly, Eddie was being dragged back to planet earth. Fuck, maybe he was drunker than he had thought. Maybe he had said too much. He felt the liquid confidence leave his body and then he was standing up.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he said quickly as Richie still struggled to find his phone and left before Richie could say something.

There were two small bathrooms, each had a toilet and a sink. He locked himself in the first one and washed his face. His breath was all out of control and since he had stood up too fast he had noticed that the vodka had actually hit him.

Fuck, and he had also said those things to Richie. What was he thinking? Richie was probably laughing about all his weird confessions over the phone with Alan. Who he wasn’t dating, but could very well be sleeping with. He should have gone home when Richie had told him to.

His thoughts were quickly flooding his head. He needed to calm down if he was going to go back out there and face Richie. And probably Alan too.

More water, that was the solution.

He kept washing his face as if shame was something that could be washed off with water when somebody started knocking on the door.

“Just a second,” he said loudly.

The knocking didn’t stop.

“Just a second, man,” he repeated this time louder, thinking that maybe the person outside hadn’t heard him.

But the sound didn’t stop. In fact, it was more consistent and louder. Eddie felt like he was on the brink of an anxiety attack and the constant knock on the door was fucking him up even more. So he decided to face the asshole outside before he completely lost it.

He was going to open the door and tell the douchebag, strongly but politely that he needed more time inside. That was the plan in theory. However, when he opened the door Richie was on the other side. And before he could say or ask anything, Richie was pushing him back inside and against the opposite wall.

“What the-“ the door closed and before he could finish that thought, Richie was turning around and putting both of his hands on Eddie’s face, his lips connecting immediately with Eddie’s.

And just like that Eddie felt his worries melt into Richie’s mouth.

His hands held onto the collar of Richie’s shirt as he pulled him closer. It was incredibly hard to breathe in the frantic movement of their mouths. Eddie managed to get a few breaths during the short spans where their mouths separated. The hot breath coming out of Richie let him know that he was also having a hard time breathing.

The hands in his cheeks started roaming down, making a slow path from his neck, to his shoulders and finally stopping on his hips, where Richie took a grasp of Eddie’s jacket and pulled their bodies closer together, making Eddie gasp as soon as he felt Richie’s entire body on his. Eddie’s hands went straight to Richie’s curls. As soon as his fingers got a good grip on Richie’s curls he pulled, already knowing the effect it was going to have on the other man.

Richie groaned against his lips but before Eddie could smugly smile, Richie was biting his bottom lip and sliding his hands under his jacket and shirt. His short nails dug into the soft skin beneath them and then it was Eddie’s turn to groan.

“Fuck,” he managed to mumble out.

Eddie could already feel the arousal flood his body.

How did Richie have that kind of impact on him? When had he let that happen?

No one should have had that effect on him. And yet, there he was, letting Richie devour him physically and figuratively without a question. Richie’s warm hands under his shirt were driving him crazy and he was too quickly losing control. He wanted it back. He needed it back.

His hands moved to Richie’s shoulders and he managed to gather enough strength to push the other man against the bathroom door. Richie let out a surprised sound that was immediately hushed by Eddie’s lips back on him. This time Eddie moved more vigorously, trying to have the same effect on Richie as he had on him. He didn’t want to be the only affected one anymore.

Richie melted into his touch and returned the kiss with the same energy. Their breaths met in the middle, their teeth crashing in the desperate and needy rhythm. It was the most chaotic thing that had happened to Eddie in a while. After all, it had been the most chaotic night he had had in a while. No surprise that Richie had been involved in it. But damn, he was glad that he was there.

His hands quickly went from Richie’s shoulders to his chest and started making their way down. Richie’s breath hitched as Eddie’s palm cupped his crotch.

“Richie,” he heard himself say in a low voice as he discovered that Richie was equally as affected.

Eddie wasn’t someone that thought too much about dick. He thought about it enough and never to an obsessing degree. However, when it came to Richie he couldn’t say the same. It also hadn’t been of any help that Richie had literally saved himself as ‘big dick rick’. So yeah, after all this time feeling it was definitely making him weak on the knees.

Not that he would ever tell Richie that.

Richie’s grip tightened on the nape of Eddie’s neck as he pulled their bodies closer.

“Goddammit, Eddie,” Richie muttered on his lips before going back to attacking them.

Eddie took that as a sign that he should keep going. His hand moved up and down and it wasn’t too long before Richie’s hips were bucking into the friction. He felt Richie’s bulge become more prominent under his touch and when Richie’s grasp became incredibly tight he decided to take things to the next level and stopped moving his hand to unbuckle Richie’s pants.

Before he could successfully do so, his whole body being pushed against the wall again. His back ached with the impact. Something had changed. Richie was still kissing him, but too forcefully, almost like he didn’t want to be kissing him. Eddie tried to hold onto his waist but sure enough, after a few seconds Richie was pushing himself to the other side of the room.

His eyes seemed clouded as he exhaled quickly. Eddie evened out his breath while looking at Richie. His lips were swollen, his hair was a mess and his clothes were shriveled. If there had been a mirror where he stood, Eddie was sure he would have seen the same on his reflection.

Eddie's eyes stayed glued to Richie’s as he waited for an answer to what had happened.

Instead, he got a question that he wasn’t waiting for.

“Why did you do it?”

Eddie narrowed his eyes as a small smile lurked on the corner of his lips, “do what?”

“All of it,” Richie’s tone got stronger by the second.

“You’ll have to be more specific, Richie.”

Richie took a deep breath.

“Okay, then. Why did you call me that night?”

“Oh,” was the only thing that Eddie managed to say. He hadn't expected it to come up this way.

Suddenly the distance between them went from a few feet apart to miles away, and the warm yellow light was cold and accusing.

“And while we’re at it I should also ask why did you leave without saying anything afterward. Or why you never answered when I called you back. Or why the fuck would you fuck around with me like that, Eddie.”

Richie went quiet expecting an answer, but all that Eddie managed to say was, “I don’t know.“

Richie’s brow furrowed.

“You showed up to my place four months after, slept with me again, then disappeared without saying anything, and all you can say is you don’t know why you did it?”

Eddie started feeling a growing pain in his chest. When he spoke he had to fight his closed throat for the words to come out.

“I never thought it would hurt you that much. If I had known-“

“You didn’t think it would hurt me?” Richie interrupted, his voice louder, “I thought I was never going to hear from you again, Eddie. I was at peace with that. But then I did and I thought ‘well, fuck if that’s not the beginning of a great story’. But before anything could happen you fucked right out of there. And you thought it wouldn’t hurt me?”

“I didn’t mean to-“

“I felt so humiliated, Eddie!” Finally, Eddie could see something else besides anger. Richie went quiet, his big eyes piercing through any excuse Eddie could make for himself. “I felt so fucking dumb.”

The pain was everywhere. In his chest, his gut, and his eyes as he stared back at Richie.

“I’m sorry, Richie,” he said, accepting that there were no more excuses, “I really am.”

Richie’s shoulders relaxed. Eddie knew his apology didn’t make anything different. But he knew it was a place to start.

“Could you at least tell me why?”, asked Richie in a calmer voice but still with the hurt look, “why did you do it?”

Eddie wanted to have that answer. He really wanted to give it to Richie. Something that justified it. He had been the one to search for Richie, he had called him up that night a year ago and re-invited himself into his life. He had been the one to leave before Richie woke up. And he had been the one to ignore the texts and calls after it happened. Eddie wanted something that made sense, a free out jail card, anything. But he didn’t have one.

And he still didn’t know why he had done it.

“I can’t,” he answered, “I wish I could but I can’t.”

Richie stared back at him. All signs of emotions left his face and he was back to the neutrality in which Eddie had found him. He nodded and finally stopped looking directly at Eddie.

“Alan’s here already. We should go.”

He turned around and opened the bathroom door without saying anything else on the subject and Eddie followed him.

Once they were back inside the bar, Eddie couldn’t help noticing how everything was different. Not only he and Richie, but the bar was emptier too. The night was dying quickly.

Eddie looked around trying to guess which one of the remaining patrons was Alan. He watched Richie trying to maybe get a clue but once again, something was off. Richie’s eyes roamed around the place hastily. He reached for his phone and started dialing. After a few seconds, Richie cursed at the unanswered call.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “not again.”

“What, what’s happening?”

“He must have left while we were in the bathroom. And now his fucking phone is off again.”

Richie grabbed his head in exasperation and started cursing for himself. Eddie could see his mental breakdown coming and had to act quickly.

“Okay,” he said loudly getting Richie’s attention back to reality, “Then let’s go around the block and search for him before he disappears again.”

“Eddie, it’s too late-“

“No, it’s not. We were in the bathroom for less than ten minutes and we have a car. There is no way he is that far away,” he explained in a calm and encouraging voice.

Richie nodded, his eyes lighting up, “Okay. Okay, fuck, let’s go.”

He grabbed their things from the booth, quickly exiting the bar again and then they made their way down the block to where the car was parked.

Eddie had emotionally fucked Richie over. He knew that now that Richie had finally told him how he felt. And he was probably going to feel guilty about that forever, especially since he had no explanation for it. He understood that now.

However, he could try to make it right for Richie right now. They were never going to be even but Eddie could try helping him. For one last time before they said goodbye forever.

At least those were his intentions.

And then they got to his car. No, to where his car was _supposed_ to be.

Richie didn’t notice at first as he kept walking down the street searching for Eddie’s car.

“Richie!” Eddie called out making him stop and turn. Richie looked confused as to why Eddie had stopped in front of an empty spot.

Eddie looked at him with wide eyes, “my car was here.”

Richie stared at Eddie, then at the empty street, then back at Eddie.

Redemption was not coming anytime soon for Eddie.

But karma was.

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> full disclaimer, I only started writing this because I wanted to use that "is this your way of asking me if I'm still single" line (also that bathroom scene dont @ me)  
> okay so now that we have unlocked the secret story of Eddie actually ghosting Richie, things are making more sense than before. The next chapter is an interlude of that night and in the last chapter we can find out what the fuck happened to Eddie's car lol  
> I wanna thank you all again for reading and I would love to hear what you guys think of this story in the comments :) just so I know I'm not fucking this story up lol and if you have critics go ahead I'd like hearing those too  
> thank you all for reading!!


	4. part ... - the road to regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has an explicit sex scene because I can't control myself.  
> You have been warned  
> Also this happens a year before the whole Alan search party thing

It had started like most of his bad decisions started: with alcohol.

And a date.

Of course, the date had been a bad idea. But when his new re-found friends convinced them that Kevin, Bill's cute work friend’ was not only incredibly handsome but also interested in him, Eddie couldn’t really refuse. They had never met in person or even talked, but all it took was a picture for his ego to get out of hand. If a guy that handsome was interested in Eddie he couldn’t really say no, right?

Plus, his friends wanted to help him get back into the dating game, and he wasn’t going to decline that help either. Even if he actually had no interest in dating anyone. And even if he had, there was somebody else on his mind that still deserved a call.

However, he pushed those thoughts away from his mind and agreed to meet Kevin in a bar downtown for drinks. 

Just like Bill had said, Kevin was handsome, nice, and polite. He had a job, came from a nice family, and complimented Eddie a lot during their shared drinks. And after two hours of talking, Eddie could practically say that it had been one of the best dates he had ever had.

So it wasn’t exactly the date that had been bad.

Only what came after.

As they exited the bar, Eddie noticed that his mind was already a little clouded. He had only had two drinks so he wasn’t completely wasted but he was already thinking like drunk Eddie. Less afraid, more daring, and a bigger mouth.

The air had been getting colder in the last weeks so he shivered when a cold rush of wind hit his skin.

Kevin noticed.

“It's getting cold.”

Eddie only nodded and let out a small, “yeah.”

In all honesty, Eddie had never gone to a lot of dates in his life, even his casual hookups focused only in one thing. But he wasn’t an idiot and knew what was supposed to happen after a good date.

Kevin stood a few feet away from him. Eddie didn’t know if he was still sober or if he was also feeling tipsy. But he was going for it. 

“We could go to my place if you want,” Kevin said with a hint of nervousness in his voice that was very well concealed by how tall he was standing, “we could take an uber or something if you want.”

It would have been so easy to say yes. To go home with this nice new man, see what would happen next, sleep with him, then wake up next to him and talk in bed. Kiss him in the morning and then go home. It would have been so easy.

However, something else bothered him and even if he tried to push it away he couldn't ignore it.

Eddie smiled, “I actually should be heading back home. I had a great time and you’re really nice but I don’t think that tonight’s that night, you know?”

Kevin seemed confused, “what night?”

“You know,” Eddie answered without really explaining but when Kevin remained silent he tried elaborating on that, “I don’t feel like I should go home with you right away.”

_Or ever_ , he thought but decided not to totally burn that bridge.

“Oh,” the confusion still hadn’t left the other man’s face. Eddie could pretty much believe that that had been the first time anyone had said no to him. “Why not?”

Eddie sighed but tried to keep his sympathetic smile, “I don’t know.”

He couldn’t help feeling a little bit bad after Kevin left, not without reminding him to text if he wanted to meet again.

His bad choices had only just begun.

“I can’t fucking believe he blew off Kevin and his perfect ass," Bill commented for like the millionth time that week.

“That’s not his name and you know it,” replied Stan solemnly as he took another sip of his drink.

Eddie wasn’t sure how what had been described as a calm get together between the four of them had managed to get Bill drunk so quickly. Eddie and Stan had stayed on beers, but Eddie wasn’t sure if he was drinking his third or fourth one anymore. Apparently the fact that it was a Tuesday and seven in the afternoon didn’t matter.

He was sitting on the floor with his elbows on the coffee table. He sighed and felt like slamming his head against the table.

“Not again dude, it’s been two weeks already, please.”

“I’m just saying, man,” Bill continued, ignoring every plead to change the subject, “you should really call him! I’m sure that he's all hot and bothered for you after you made him wait for ages.”

“Just because Stan did that to you does not mean that that’s a universal experience, Bill,” intervened Mike.

Stan said nothing but smiled, clearly proud of himself. Bill crunched down from his place on the sofa to shake Stan by the shoulders.

“This asshole,” he said before planting a kiss on Stan’s forehead.

Eddie looked at them with a smile. He knew their whole thing was that they were not actually together but it sure seemed like they were. He was hoping that Bill’s sudden outburst of affection would make him drop the subject, but as soon as he stopped shaking and kissing Stan he went right back to it.

“I mean, Eddie,” he said getting his attention again, “what do you have to lose?”

Eddie groaned, “Bill, drop it. It’s not happening.”

“Alright, but don’t come around here when you regret it.”

Mike intervened again. “Hey, don’t say that. If Eddie doesn’t want to meet this guy again he has his reasons,” he then ruffed Bill’s hair, “stop projecting your own fantasies onto Eddie.”

Bill struggled to get Mike’s hand off his hair and started fixing it right away. He looked mad but it was still noticeable that Bill would lean into Mike’s touch.

“Yeah, maybe Eddie doesn't wanna give it to every guy that buys him a drink. Unlike someone else,” added Stan from the floor trying to get a reaction from Bill.

“As if you don’t like that.”

Stan and Bill started playfully bickering with each other while Mike tried to keep things civil. However, after Bill commented on Mike’s alleged holier-than-thou attitude he also ended up getting dragged into the argument.

Eddie couldn’t help watching the three of them dispute and argue in their functionally unfunctional relationship. It all clicked between them, even if at first glance it seemed like it didn’t.

He started thinking about how his date with Kevin had been the exact opposite of that. Everything seemed to work out fine, but that wasn't the reality.

Suddenly he felt very out of place. Eddie couldn’t help laughing or smiling at the stupid comments being thrown around him but he realized he should have been heading home. This moment didn’t belong to him.

He wondered if any moments ever truly belonged to him.

One came to mind.

“Okay, guys,” he said cutting into Mike's argument about Bill loving the sound of his own whining voice. “I think I should be on my way.”

Stan elbowed Bill and Mike on the knees, “well done, you scared Eddie.”

Eddie laughed, “not more than usual. It’s just I have class tomorrow and to be honest, I already feel kinda tipsy.”

“Huh,” said Bill, “I didn’t peg you for a lightweight.”

“You don’t really peg anything,” cut in Stan quickly, earning himself a kick on the ribs from Bill.

“You need a ride home?” asked Mike.

Eddie thought about it. Mike didn’t drink and even though he never minded driving Eddie home, Eddie felt like he should let him stay in with Bill and Stan.

He also felt like being alone with his thoughts.

“No, don’t worry,” he said standing up and grabbing his things. “You guys have a good night though.”

They said their goodbyes and Eddie left their apartment complex.

While he walked out of there, his mind wandered into what he had proclaimed forbidden territory. He went over all the details of the night he had met Richie and started feeling more and more drawn to call the number on his phone. It wasn’t the first time he had felt the weird sudden urge to call. Sometimes he would spend hours -or what felt like hours- with Richie’s contact on his screen but he would never bring himself to call. Or text. Or anything other than just overthinking things.

And even if he did what was he supposed to say?

It had been four months after all. That was pretty much enough time for Richie to get the hint that Eddie hadn’t been thinking about him.

But the problem was that he had been.

Sure, being single was a new unexplored world for him. He had felt like a new person, hooking up with guys and disappearing right after. He didn’t need to explain himself to anyone at all. It was a refreshing feeling that he had never experienced before in his over-controlled life. 

But not everything was forever and slowly he started to get bored with the same thing all the time. So he would just stare at his phone and think of all the different timelines in which he gave less of a shit what people (or Richie) thought about him and just called him.

Usually, this train of thought would fruitlessly circle around his head, and at the end of the night, he would be back at square one: it would make no sense to call now and there was no use thinking about what could have been.

However, as he got in the first bus on his way back something changed. He wasn’t sure what it was, maybe it was the alcohol in his veins that sparked the idea, or maybe he was just tired of thinking about it constantly. Maybe it was both. But it was most likely the fact that the street outside seemed very familiar. He had never noticed because most of the time Mike would drive him home, or he would head home earlier, but something about that street made him remember the long walk he had had with Richie at three AM four months ago.

He knew it was impulsive but he got out of the bus without putting too much thought into his actions. He wasn’t even halfway home and he had no idea where he actually was, but he still felt like he did.

The rest of the people that stepped out on the same stop quickly dispersed to their destinations and Eddie found himself standing alone as he watched the bus slowly drive away. The air was colder than before and his jacket wasn’t keeping him warm enough for him to agree with his weird mental processes. 

He stuffed one hand in his pocket, trying to keep it warm, and with the other one, he unblocked his phone.

“You got off the fucking bus,” he quietly scolded himselfas he scrolled down his contacts.

His finger hovered over the name and for a second his brain was ready to start with its endless thoughts. But before it did his finger was already pressing the call button.

He took a deep breath as he waited for an answer. The bell rang four times when the other line went in.

Before he could even say anything Richie was already speaking.

“You’ve reached the number of the trashiest mouth ever. Good God, what _can_ I do for you?”

Every possible line that Eddie had rehearsed in his mind flew out the window when he heard Richie’s strangely aggressive greeting. He wondered for asecond if that was maybe a pre-recorded message but he could hear Richie's breath on the other side of the call.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

He also sounded agitated, so Eddie wondered if he knew it was him. He quickly figured that wasn't really possible and that maybe he had been expecting another call.

Still, the answer was pretty weird and it left out any possibility for a normal conversation between two people, who had slept together four months ago. So Eddie decided it might as well be a strange conversation between two people, who had slept together four months ago.

“Wow,” he said, stalling for a second, “I’m hoping that's how you greet every unknown number and not just me. Must make things very interesting for telemarketers.”

The line was silent. Eddie wondered if maybe Richie was as confused as he was. Or if he maybe had gotten more annoyed than before. He wasn’t even sure if Richie had recognized him until he heard a soft laugh in his ear.

“I have to keep things on brand. There's a lot of hotties out there hiding behind unknown numbers, Eds.”

Eddie pushed the back of his thumb into his mouth trying to avoid the smile forming on his lips.

“Not my name.”

Richie hummed, “maybe I got confused. It’s been a while after all. Here I was thinking you had completely forgotten about yours truly,” he added with an old-fashioned voice.

Eddie laughed, “who says I didn’t?”

“I don’t want to make assumptions but you _are_ calling me.”

“Maybe I just dialed the wrong ‘big dick rich’ on my phone, you thought about that?”

Richie laughed again and Eddie cursed himself for getting more and more flustered with every laugh he heard.

“It is a very common name, yeah,” his voice suddenly turned very calm and honest, “but I am glad you called.”

Eddie wasn’t sure how to answer. His cold body was now on fire. He couldn’t answer that without feeling like he was going to puke his heart out. Luckily for him, Richie continued talking. Unfortunately, he just kept torturing him.

“So, Eddie boy, are you gonna tell me why are you calling or shall we enjoy each other’s company silently over the phone?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “fuck off.”

“There he is!” laughed Richie.

Eddie took a deep breath in before continuing, “what are you doing tonight?”

“It depends.”

“On what?”

He could almost hear the stupid grin on Richie’s face, “on what you say next.”

Eddie tried to remain unbothered but he couldn’t help smiling like a stupid idiot at Richie’s stupid fucking words. He tried controlling his voice as not let it show.

“I might have gotten… lost?”

“Lost?”

“Yeah,” he looked around him, making sure there was nobody around to hear him, “and I think I might be near your place.”

There were a few seconds of silence next, but then he heard that clear self-satisfied voice.

“Now, how did that happen?”

Eddie smiled to himself and looked at the empty street, “how about you send me your location and I'll tell you personally?”

Turns out Eddie was further away from Richie than he had imagined. According to his phone, it was only a fifteen-minute walk but then he got lost. And with his system running on anxiety and the remain of the alcohol he had drunk, it took him more than half an hour to get there. He was kind of pissed at himself for taking so long but once he was there all tiredness left his body and was replaced with a mixture of excitement and fear. He decided not to think about it and rang the bell. Seconds later the door was buzzing and Eddie pushed it open.

He climbed up the stairs, not remembering which was Richie’s floor exactly but knowing he had to go up. Just as he was running out of breath a door opened. The glowing light from the inside flooded the hallway and Eddie stopped on his tracks before he kept going up. He really hoped that the darkness of the hallway could conceal how he was feeling because Richie was leaning on the door frame, his hair in a bun, and his eyes looking directly at him behind those big glasses that only he could pull off.

“Look what the cat dragged in.”

Richie’s voice sounded different in person. Fuller, deeper, and impossibly more teasing than before. Eddie’s heart started beating faster, but he decided to blame the stairs for that.

“Those stairs have got to be the reason why you’re so skinny,” he said still out of breath as he slowly approached Richie.

“Gotta work out these glutes somehow, Eds.”

Eddie huffed out a small laugh. As he got in front of Richie’s threshold, he kept analyzing Richie. He had bags under his eyes but he still smiled like he had all the energy in the world. Maybe he had also just gotten home from work, which would explain why he wasn’t wearing sweatpants unlike what Eddie had imagined.

Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, which seemed strange from someone like Richie. He just stared at him with a cheerful smile on his lips as he probably took Eddie's presence in.

“So,” started Eddie, “are we just gonna longingly stare at each other, or are you gonna invite me in?”

Richie’s eyes slightly widened before he let out an explosive laugh.

“Eds gets off a good one! Come on, mi casa…” he said stepping out of the doorframe.

Eddie tried not to think too much about the way Richie’s cheeks had turned slightly pink as he walked into his home.

It looked pretty much like Eddie remembered, perhaps cleaner. Some changes might have been made here and there over the last months. He noticed there were more houseplants, maybe they had always been there but Eddie didn’t seem to remember. He decided against asking Richie, fearing it might make him seem too observant. Or obsessed.

“You want a beer?” he heard Richie ask behind him.

Eddie kept looking around on his way to the couch, “do you have anything stronger?”

He turned around to see Richie react to his request, hoping he wasn’t coming off as a needy alcoholic. However, Richie only lifted an eyebrow while smirking at him.

“Something stronger it is.”

Eddie sat down on the couch as he heard Richie struggle in the kitchen for a while, glasses rattling, doors opening and closing.

“Do you need any help?”, he shouted over the racket.

“Nope!,” Richie yelled back.

And soon enough Richie was stepping into his living room with a bunch of bottles in his arms and two glasses on his hand. Eddie looked at him in shock, his mouth opening unconsciously as the other man put all the things on the coffee table. Richie did this while acting like bringing five bottles of alcohol when somebody asks you for something stronger was the normal procedure.

He sat down on the couch next to Eddie rubbing his hands together, “okay so,” he pointed to the left and made his way to the right, “I got Fireball, vodka, cheap-ass rum, I wouldn’t really recommend it but I have it. Gin and finally this foreign pink thing I got for my birthday, please don’t even make me pronounce the name.”

Eddie’s confusion had turned into amusement as Richie went over the liquors on the table. He was still looking at Richie in disbelief but at least now he was smiling about it.

“You sure got your shit covered,” he commented.

Richie hummed and grabbed one of the glasses, “so what is it gonna be?”

Eddie looked at the bottles in front of them with a mix of disgust and excitement. He liked that feeling. Usually, when he felt disgusted he just felt terrible. He wasn’t used to the type of disgust that was also fun and exhilarating.

“Do you at least have ice or something?”

“Edward,” Richie said with a stern and exaggerated deep voice, “we are men. Men don’t need ice to make alcohol taste better. Real men drink at room temperature. Also, my freezer just broke. I’m deeply sorry, I was supposed to get it fixed this week but then-“

“Okay, okay,” Eddie stopped him before he broke out laughing. “I guess I’ll just have some of the mysterious drink. It looks pretty.”

“One ‘impossible name’ drink coming right up!” Richie announced.

He watched Richie pour two glasses of a considerable amount of alcohol but he didn’t complain. Richie handed him his glass and lifted his.

“Cheers! Or you know, whatever it is they say in Croatia.”

"It's from Croatia?" 

Richie shrugged, "I think so."

Eddie clicked his glass with Richie’s, “then, whatever they say in Croatia.”

He took a sip and was surprised when he managed to swallow it without his whole throat clenching. The strong taste of alcohol was still traceable but it was also very sweet, so Eddie was glad he had chosen that drink instead of the cheap rum, which had been his second option.

“It’s really good.”

Richie hummed before putting his glass down, “careful though, it gets you drunk really fast.”

Eddie smiled, “so you’re trying to get me drunk?”

“I’m just being a good host.”

“I’ll make sure to write that down as your official statement.”

The corner of Richie’s lip curved upwards, “maybe you’re just trying to get yourself drunk. How about that?”

Eddie smiled back, “could be. I would like to think that you’re also doing it, though.”

He saw Richie’s eyes move up and down. Eddie kind of hated himself for getting goosebumps as Richie looked at him but it wasn’t entirely his fault. It was mostly Richie’s. He and his stupid brown eyes. His heart was back at beating at an abnormal rate.

_Other subject,_ he thought, _now!_

“So,” he said trying to avoid thinking too much about Richie’s eyes on him, “what have you been up to?”

Richie’s smile grew.

“Really?”

Okay, Eddie was officially more nervous than before now.

“Really what?”

“Nothing,” Richie added shaking his head slightly.

“No, come on. Tell me.” Eddie insisted.

Richie licked his lips and looked down at his glass before meeting Eddie’s eyes again.

“It’s just funny that you can say something like that and then try to switch to small talk.”

Eddie’s face fell instantly. Fuck, he could already feel his face heating up.

“I don’t-“

“Eddie, no” interrupted Richie, “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s actually very cute.” He laughed.

How the fuck was Eddie supposed to calm down like that.

“Cute?” he asked sounding almost offended.

“I mean, it’s like you say something and then you back away immediately and try changing the subject. You see? Cute.”

Eddie opened his mouth.

Did he really do that? Not really though, did he? What the fuck did Richie know? This was their second time meeting. It’s not like he knew him that well.

“What are you? My therapist or something?”

“Wouldn’t that be something, huh? I didn’t think you were into that roleplaying stuff but-“

“You don’t get to psychoanalyze me.”

Richie kept smiling and Eddie’s face kept getting hotter.

“Well, psychoanalysis isn’t even a valid praxis anymore so you can jot that down-“

“Freud can rot actually,” Eddie murmured, closing the gap between the glass and his face.

“-and also, I think it’s very fun watching you shift on your seat over there. Cute, cute, cute!”

Richie leaned back on the couch. Eddie threw him an angry look (or as angry as it could look while blushing) but Richie only shrugged.

“You’re the one that wanted to know.”

Eddie tried thinking of something clever he could say but nothing came to mind. Richie’s words had a ridiculous effect on him. It wasn't like he hadn't been called cute before. He was pretty cute, even Eddie could recognize that about himself. He always thought it was the freckles and his baby-face. He had practically looked fifteen until he turned twenty. Pretty much everyone he knew had at some point mentioned this. His mom, his aunts, his ex, even Stan, Mike, and Bill teased him regularly about his cuteness.

But all of that was different. All those times had been, in his opinion, annoying and pretty superficial statements about his appearance. But when it came out of Richie it sounded… pretty nice. And he hated himself for thinking that but Richie’s voice seemed more honest than other people’s. Even if it was the second time they saw each other.

So finally, all he could manage to say was, “fuck you,” while he hid his face behind the glass and drank a big gulp.

Richie was still looking at him. For a second he only watched him swallow down the liquor without adding anything else.

“They are giving me earlier hours at the station,” Richie added after a few seconds.

Eddie looked back at him disoriented as what was he talking about before realizing Richie was answering his long-forgotten question. He felt his chest get warmer and offered Richie a small smile. He could take a truce. 

“Yeah?”

Richie nodded, “which is cool because that way I can talk when people actually listen. And it doesn’t fuck up that much my pub crawl schedule.”

Eddie laughed, “you’re still doing that then.”

“Oh yeah! Too many good stories happen for me to leave it. It’s the perfect fuel for the program too, that way I always have something interesting to talk about.”

Eddie leaned back on the couch, suddenly not feeling as uncomfortable as before but still feeling that pleasant feeling inside of him.

“Couldn’t you get in trouble for that? I mean you could be interfering with someone’s privacy.”

“I think we already established I’m not a therapist,” laughed Richie, “no patient-confidentiality here. Also, they are good stories!”

Eddie hummed, “like what?”

There was a second where their eyes met and Richie lifted the corner of his lip with a knowing look. Eddie could also think of a pretty good story.

“Well, there was this one Swedish couple-“

Richie then started telling how they essentially got very trashed during the pub crawl. Although nothing incredible or unbelievable actually happened in the story, the way in which Richie told it, remembering every detail and every word that had been spoken that night almost had Eddie in tears. Even if he really tried to fight his laugh at the beginning, he couldn’t help laughing every time Richie started talking with a Swedish accent. Eddie didn’t really know what a Swedish accent sounded like but he trusted Richie with the accuracy of his voices. 

Richie seemed to have an incredibly good memory if he remembered this one story that had happened even months before they met. That, or he was very good at bullshitting stories.

Once that story was over, their conversation shifted fluidly to another topic, and another one, and so forth, until Eddie had already forgotten how tight his chest had been before walking into Richie’s apartment. He really liked how open he could be with Richie. One minute he would be telling him that he was planning on applying for an internship in the coming semester and then they would be talking about something completely different like ABBA.

Talking with Richie was easy and fun. He listened to his opinions and would laugh at his snarky remarks or occasional jokes. And Richie was very open as well. Eddie would find himself genuinely interested on the things coming out of Richie’s mouth. He liked hearing about his jobs, his friends, and his tastes.

Even if they sometimes collided with his own.

“I’m just saying, Elton is the only king out there for me!”

Eddie’s voice had gotten louder and higher as he swallowed more of the enigmatic drink. Surprisingly he wasn’t getting annoyed by the sound of his own voice as he very often did. Maybe it was the fact that he had lost track of how much he had been drinking, or that he didn’t really care how he sounded when he was talking with Richie. 

“Being the only one alive doesn’t make him the best by default,” refuted Richie while pouring himself another drink.

“Oh, so you are saying Sir Elton John is not good? Did I hear that correctly?” teased Eddie over and over again not letting Richie talk over him.

“I’m saying!” cut in Richie after a few seconds, “he is great! He’s the best at what he does! I can’t fight you on that. However… Bowie?”

“You can’t compare them like that, it’s not fair!” complained Eddie, “that would be like comparing Lady Gaga with Rihanna or something.”

“No, it wouldn’t! It’s absolutely different!”

“How?” asked Eddie with a baffled tone even though he was smiling.

Richie shook his head, “you know what? It’s whatever, they’re both great. But I’m always gonna put Bowie on a higher pedestal and you can quote me on that.”

Eddie took another sip before adding, “Bowie isn't _that_ hot.”

“Excuse me? And Sir Elton John is?!”

“Okay, okay they are both hot or whatever. But I just don’t feel like Bowie ever hit me with a sexy tune, you know? Too much existential dread and stuff.”

"That is so incredibly incorrect, that I won't even get into it right now. But I beg, _please_ tell me what sexy tunes has Elton John ever written.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “I don’t have to explain this.”

“What do you mean ‘you don’t have to explain this’? Just admit it! Elton is not inherently sexy!”

“Yes, he is! He wore big glasses and feathers, and shit covered head to toes on rhinestones-”

“Okay, okay,” Richie stood up, walking over to his stereo to turn it on. Then he sat back down and offered Eddie his phone, “please play these sexy songs you talk about so much.”

Eddie snatched the phone out of Richie’s hand already feeling a spark of competitiveness cursing through his body, “I’ll show you three how about that, asshole?”

Richie laughed, “alright, dude. Surprise me.”

Eddie muffled under his breath and started typing, while Richie kept staring at him with an amused grin on his face.

As soon as he played the song Richie started laughing. Eddie lifted his head looking at him with a furrowed brow.

“What?” he asked defiantly.

“How is 'Your Song' sexy?” asked Richie between laughs.

"How does this need an explanation?” he asked back in bewilderment.

“I just- sure it’s beautiful. Makes everyone yearn for love, and it’s the most romantic song of the millennium, but I wouldn’t call it sexy!”

“Romance is sexy!” refuted Eddie getting more offended by the second, “you mean to tell me that you can hear a fucking line like ‘yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen’ and feel nothing?”

“No, I definitely feel something,” said Richie finally ceasing his laughter, “it’s just no 'Kiss' by Prince. _That_ is sexy!”

“I thought this was about David Bowie…”

“Whatever, you know what I mean,” Richie took another gulp then added, “next one. And good God, please don't make it 'Circle of Life'.”

Eddie threw him a dirty look but proceeded to look for the next song he had in mind. It started playing. This time it took Richie a few seconds to recognize the melody but as soon as he figured it out his face went quickly from realization to a grimace.

“Okay, but this is cheating.”

“How is this cheating?” asked Eddie more exasperated.

“It is literally called 'Are You Ready for Love'.”

“And 'Kiss' is called fucking _K_ _iss_. You realize your criteria makes no sense, right?”

“Well if you wanna pass the Tozier test you need to convince me and right now, I’m not really feeling it.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but started looking for the next one immediately, “you better eat your words with this next one or I’m fucking going home and taking all your alcohol with me.”

Richie hummed, “a promising threat. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

It took Eddie a few seconds to find the song he was looking for since he misspelled it a few times (the alcohol maybe?). But then as soon as he found it he clicked on the song.

It was impossible not to recognize it and as soon as the first striking chords on the piano started coming out of the speakers. Richie lifted his chin and threw Eddie a side glance.

Eddie put the phone back down and gave Richie a look.

“'Bennie and the Jets' _._ ”

It wasn’t a question, but when Richie said the title it sounded like he was tasting how it came out of his mouth.

“If you’re not attracted to this you are wrong.”

Richie shook his head, “I just- have never heard anyone describe this as sexy.”

“Well, they should. It’s got weird lyrics, a strange set-up, and every time I hear it I feel like either melting into the floor or dancing.”

Eddie took another sip and his glass was empty again. When he looked back up at Richie he was still looking at him with a smile, but he wasn’t laughing anymore. He just seemed to be analyzing him again.

Eddie very much felt like protesting against that.

“Stop trying to get into my mind,” he warned.

That made Richie let out a small laugh, “okay, last time a try that.”

A silence fell upon them as the first lyrics flooded the room. Then Richie asked: “how does that look?”

Eddie squinted, “what?”

“When you melt into the floor.”

Eddie locked eyes with him. He felt his chest get warmer again, however, this time it didn’t make him want to stop looking at Richie. It just made him stare harder.

“That’s private.”

Richie nodded, “how about the dance? How would you do it.”

Eddie let out a small laugh. He placed his empty glass on the coffee table.

“Strangely.”

Richie mirrored his movements putting his own glass down even if it was still half full.

“Would you show me?”

Eddie’s head turned back to Richie’s direction. He moved too fast and was startled to see Richie closer than before, leaning with his elbows on his knees. The warmth on his chest spread to his face quickly but he tried keeping his composure and just looked directly at Richie.

“What, like this is something you actually want to see?”

Richie smiled again.

“Fuck yes.”

Eddie let out a small laugh as Richie’s words repeated over and over on his head.

_Fuck_.

Either Richie was really getting into him or he was drunker than he had imagined.

He stood up and started walking very slowly around the coffee table holding eye contact with Richie. He wasn’t actually sure what he was doing. With any other person, Eddie would have felt incredibly exposed and would have hated having all the attention. But with Richie, he just grinned and felt like stepping up to the challenge.

The second verse had already started but he kept walking until he was right in front of Richie from the other side of the coffee table. Once he was there he lifted his hands in a fluid motion, playing with them in the air as he moved them around. He felt the cool air in his skin as the fabric of his shirt exposed his tummy. He then dropped both hands and arched his back when the voice in the song got stronger.

_Oh Candy and Ronnie, have you seen them yet_

_Oh but they're so spaced out, Bennie and the Jets_

He spun around and almost tripped on his feet but managed to land on both feet. He laughed and kept on smiling as he danced, feeling so ridiculous but so good.

_Oh but they're weird and they're wonderful_

When his feet were planted, he swayed his hips slightly to the marked rhythm. As the chorus started coming to an end his moves stopped being slow but he tried keeping them fluid. Each move marked with each word.

_She's got electric boots_

Spin.

His heartbeat got faster.

_a mohair suit_

He lifted one arm over his head with a fist and hugged his torso with the other one.

His knees lightly giving in.

_You know I read it in a magazine, oh_

Stop.

“B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets,” he sang under his breath as soon as the chorus ended.

His eyes went back to Richie’s. He was looking at him in awe, mouth slightly opened and big eyes behind his glasses. He seemed speechless. Eddie wanted to make a joke about that but he was still a little out of breath, not really because his dance had been very tiring but mostly because it had been exclusively for Richie.

Finally, Richie managed to blurt out, “somebody, give it the 'sexiest song' award right now.”

Eddie laughed and walked slowly to Richie’s side of the couch, “it should be sexy on itself.”

“I feel like your concept of sexy is a little broken.”

Eddie shrugged, “sounds possible. Maybe that’s why I'm attracted to you.”

Most people would have taken that as an insult but not Richie. Eddie sure didn’t mean it like one either.

Richie’s eyes went dark immediately as he stared at Eddie standing in front of him. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat the second Richie stood up. The distance between them was still considerable but Richie started slowly closing it, carefully moving towards Eddie.

“You know,” his voice sounded deeper than it had before, “I never really got what that song was even about.”

The question wasn’t sexy either, but something about the way Richie sounded and looked in that moment was probably the most attractive thing he had ever seen.

So even if one part of him felt like laughing at the sexiness of a stupid comment like that, mostly he just wanted to jump on Richie’s bones.

So he did.

“Shut up,” he managed to mutter out before closing the gap between them.

He moved swiftly, startling Richie as both of his hands grabbed the sides of Richie’s neck and slowly pulled him down to kiss him. Richie’s mouth moved against his in an instant, wasting no time to grab Eddie’s sides and pull him closer. Eddie slightly tripped again but Richie held him in place.

Eddie’s hands roamed upwards to Richie’s hair and freed Richie’s curls with his eyes closed and lips parted. Then his fingers quickly found themselves yanking at the locks. He felt Richie groan in his mouth and deepened the kiss, his teeth biting down at Eddie’s bottom lip and then soothing the bite with his tongue, which only made Eddie pull the strand of hairs more.

It was the most desperate thing ever. He couldn’t even handle thinking about it.

So he decided to get lost in Richie. In his strong hands that quickly moved to grab his waist, in his slow but intense kiss, and in the way he made him feel when he pulled him closer to his chest.

Eddie put one of his hands on Richie’s chest. Their mouths separated for a second and both of them panted, lungs aching for some air. Eddie tried pushing Richie back and guide him back to the sofa. He wanted to do it gracefully as not to seem too out of it. But before Richie sat back down he tripped again, one of his knees managed to land next to Richie’s waist but the other one ended up hitting Richie on the thigh.

“Fuck,” Eddie said as Richie winced, “I’m sorry.”

Richie almost immediately started laughing. Eddie wondered if that was the way he handled everything. If he just laughed at the pain.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” he reassured Eddie. Then he lifted his head, his eyes were still dark but there was also a small spark of joy in them. “Come here.”

Richie’s hand went to the back of his neck and pushed him down back to his lips. Eddie sighed into the kiss, maybe too loudly. He really wasn’t succeeding at looking not desperate.

The knee that had hit Richie finally managed to find his place on the other side of Richie’s hip. He struggled to take off his jacket but Richie helped him, yanking it out of Eddie’s arm and throwing it on the ground. Eddie kissed Richie one more time before his hands went to untuck Richie's shirt from his pants, pulling it up and over Richie’s head. Eddie tried not to get too distracted at Richie’s bare chest but as his hands roamed over it he couldn’t help but stare. Maybe he was imagining it but it seemed like Richie's pecs were... fuller?

“See something you like, Eds?”

Richie took him back to reality. He was smirking again, pulling a strand of Eddie’s behind his ear. Eddie rolled his eyes and decided than instead of telling him to shut up he should just do it himself. He attacked Richie’s lips again earning himself a small muffled laugh on his lips, but he just kept kissing Richie until he was kissing him like before.

Eddie’s hands traveled down to palm Richie through his pants, and because of the soft fabric, he could already feel Richie growing harder on his hand. He was very proud of himself and mentally patted himself on the back for making Richie melt under his touch. But then he firmly put one hand on Eddie’s lower back and flipped them around. Eddie’s back hit the soft cushion of the couch and he couldn’t help the loud gasp that came out of his mouth. Richie smiled but instead of teasing for it got back to kissing him.

Eddie was kind of embarrassed. But he wasn't really.

The couch wasn’t that big but Eddie still found space to hook one leg around his waist. Richie’s lips traveled down to Eddie’s neck and collarbone. His tongue, lips, and teeth teased the sensitive skin, making Eddie throw his head back. Richie’s hands caressed his waist as he continued making a trail down Eddie’s bare torso. Eddie shivered when Richie’s mouth went over one of his nipples. He put the back of his hand on his lips to stop any sudden sounds that could escape his mouth, but it was so difficult to avoid when Richie kept flicking his tongue while his hands kept roaming his naked torso.

The sounds were inevitable, sooner or later Eddie was going to have to let go. So he decided on taking Richie down with him.

“Richie,” he breathed out. He immediately felt Richie dig his nails on his sides, which only made Eddie gasp. “Fuck, just- come on, stop teasing.”

Richie’s smile was now pressed on his sternum.

“Your wish is my fucking command,” he groaned between kisses.

His mouth finally returned to Eddie’s and the second their lips were touching again, Eddie made sure to show him just how much he needed Richie. His left hand grabbed the back of Richie’s neck, keeping him in place as he hungrily devoured his lips and his free hand went directly into Richie’s pants and boxers. Richie let out a surprised hiss when Eddie’s hand wrapped around his member.

He took a sharp breath in, his teeth digging into Eddie’s chin.

“I’m gonna fucking tear you apart,” Eddie heard Richie growl onto his skin.

He felt like challenging him. Saying something snarky that would drive Richie even wilder, or just saying ‘then do it’. But all that came out of his mouth was a soft whimper as Richie got his jeans open and started stroking him as well.

Eddie felt intoxicated. His mind was a blur, all rational thoughts had left and his brain was filled with desire, thinking of the next things he wanted to do to Richie and the things he wanted Richie to do to him. In a strange moment of clarity, he realized that he had been starving for him. And it felt like a hunger that was longer than just the few hours they had shared that night.

After this incredibly lucid moment, Eddie decided to turn his brain off again. He had to ignore the implications of that.

Things became increasingly more heated and moved faster than Eddie had ever experienced. He remembered that his first time with Richie had been less rushed. More time for foreplay and a casual joke here and there. Whereas this time, Eddie just felt absolutely consumed.

They managed to get into Richie’s bed in a less dignifying way than they had last time, but neither of them seemed to mind. The rest of their clothes were quickly tossed away. Eddie moaned when he felt Richie’s naked body pressed against his own skin. Their erections pressed together. Richie raked his fingers through Eddie’s hair, his hands holding onto the short strands of hair. Eddie couldn’t control the moan that came out of him when Richie pulled his head back, exposing his neck to attack the skin there. He scratched Richie’s back, his nails digging down into the muscles of his upper back, while Richie’s mouth kept sucking and biting his neck and jawline.

Okay, he could see why Richie liked having his hair pulled so much now.

Preparing took, in Eddie’s opinion, way too long. He got into his hands and knees the second Richie took the lube out of his nightstand drawer. Richie then took his sweet time working Eddie open. And he kept going no matter how much Eddie complained and whined that he was ready.

“Richie, come on,” he didn’t feel like begging but with every second that passed, the more he realized that that was exactly what he was doing.

Richie laughed and kissed his lower back, his fingers still moving at a torturous pace inside him.

“I just wanna make sure you’re ready.”

Richie had to be turned on if he had deliberately decided to finger him for an eternity, but Eddiewas just angry that Richie didn’t sound as affected as he did.

“I’ve been ready!” he growled. “Would you just, fucking-“

“Shh,” Richie lulled him softly.

And that was the end of that conversation since Richie then added a third finger, finally hitting Eddie’s prostate (which Eddie knew he had been missing on purpose). Eddie arched his back, his arms gave in and he buried his face on the mattress, muffling the loud groan that escaped his mouth.

Richie’s lips were still on his lower back. They slowly made their way up Eddie’s spine and kissed the nape of his neck, leaving a small bruise there while his fingers still moved expertly inside of him. He felt Richie’s breath on his ear and before he could bite his earlobe, or whisper dirty words, or whatever he was planning on doing, Eddie grabbed at the back of Richie’s head, his fingers forcefully pulling Richie’s face to his.

Their noses crashed into each other but Eddie didn’t pay attention to that. He just really wanted Richie to listen to him. It took him a few shared breaths before he could actually speak, and even when he did it just sounded like a broken plead.

“Fuck me. _Now_.”

Richie closed the gap between their mouths and gave him a bruising kiss before complying.

Eddie got back on his elbows while Richie aligned their bodies together. Time stopped in the excruciating seconds Richie put a condom on before entering him. And when he did, Eddie realized that Richie could have prepared him for an entire hour and it still wouldn't have been enough for the agonizing feeling of Richie inside him. He bit down the back of his hand trying to stop himself from crying out. But the whimper was still audible and Richie stopped himself from moving.

Richie’s hands caressed his back softly.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to stop?”

Eddie let out a small laugh.

“Fuck, no,” he replied between sharp breaths. With each caress, he relaxed more and more. “Go slow, but don’t stop.”

Richie bent over and placed a kiss between his shoulder blades before whispering, “okay.”

The thrusts were slow but deep. Each one got a small moan out of Eddie. Richie held an iron grip onto his hips but his pace was incredibly cautious. After a few seconds (maybe minutes, Eddie wasn’t sure how time worked anymore), Eddie not only started feeling more relaxed but more eager to feel Richie move.

“I’m okay,” he managed to get out but his voice was still blocked by the mattress beneath him.

“Huh?” Richie breathed out.

_Fuck_ , Eddie thought, his arousal rising as he realized that Richie was as worked up as he was.

“You can move,” he said louder, his voice breaking slightly.

“Oh, r-right,” Richie answered.

He sounded so goofy it was almost impossible to believe that the same guy that stuttered when Eddie asked him to move faster was the one that then proceeded to make his eyes roll to the back of his head. Richie wasn’t going that much faster if anything the pace had only slightly risen. But his movements were more powerful and they got deeper than before. There was a slight pain where he could feel Richie’s bone hips hit his ass, but Eddie was more focused on the feeling of Richie inside him than anything else.

As his own sounds where partly lost on the soft cushion beneath him, Richie's grunts and breaths flooded his ears. He had forgotten how vocal Richie was in bed but the reminder was very welcomed. Hearing Richie groan in an animalistic way as his hips snapped forward was making Eddie’s body burn. The mental image wasn’t enough for him, so he lifted himself slightly to turn his head, putting his right cheek against the mattress. It looked like Eddie wasn’t the only mess. Richie’s head was thrown back, his hair everywhere, and eyes closed in an almost pained expression. He looked as tortured as Eddie felt.

At the sight, Eddie felt his insides pulse. His hand traveled down to his own neglected cock and started stroking it to the rhythm of Richie’s tormenting pace.

Richie’s eyes flew open. The corner of Richie’s lip went slightly upwards when he noticed Eddie looking at him. Their eyes met again in a blazing stare.

“Fuck,” the words were being dragged out of his mouth. Eddie was having a hard time controlling his own sounds. “You just got so tight, baby.”

His cheeks flared up. The moan that came out of him when he heard the pet name was probably the filthiest thing he had ever made.

Richie bent over, connecting their left hands together as he finally stopped torturing both of them with the slow movements and really pounded him.

And the second he did, Richie hit the spot inside him that made Eddie unravel.

“Oh, my G-“ he screamed out but bit his tongue before he could finish.

Eddie’s mouth returned to biting the mattress, but his moan could be heard even with his mouth stuffed. Richie’s sweat pooled on his shoulder, where he had let his forehead fall.

With each thrust, he could feel his body closer to coming undone. His knees felt weak and his wrist hurt from touching himself, but as much as the pain grew the pleasure did exponentially so and he didn’t want to move if it meant he would stop feeling the way Richie was making him feel.

Richie’s mouth found his ear again. He grunted before saying, “I wanna see you-“

Eddie turned his head to the side again. Richie’s face was so close to his. They breathed the same air and Eddie was surprised that he didn’t mind moaning into Richie’s mouth when they kissed.

Eddie’s hand went for the back Richie’s head and pulled him even closer as he answered, “me too.”

Richie breathed into his mouth and bit his bottom lip like he wanted to devour him whole. Eddie was ready to kiss back with the same hunger, but then Richie was pulling back an out of him. He felt like complaining but before he could he was on his back. Richie settled between his legs and slowly entered him again.

He felt like he was almost trying to glue himself to Richie, his nails leaving bruises in the other man’s shoulders as he pulled him closer. He wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of missionary but when Richie was back inside him his only thought was how much better it was to be looking at him now.

“Richie,” he managed to say as he felt the fire pooling down in his stomach, “I’m so close.”

"Come on, baby. You're so good. You feel so good."

He came like that, with Richie’s eyes on his.

And then he did again. And again. And to the point where he wasn't even sure how many times he came that night. But it was always with Richie's eyes on him.

The hours went by. The world would stop for a few minutes as they regained their strength after each climax. But Richie never stopped touching Eddie’s skin or kissing him. His fingers would explore Eddie’s body tracing every spot in his skin until they started making out again.

And then it was back to square one.

Eddie’s head was empty. Everything he had ever known before had been replaced with _Richie, Richie, Richie_.

When all energy was drained, they collapsed one final time into the mattress. Eddie on his back while Richie’s head rested on his chest. Eddie ran a weary hand through his hair as Richie held him tight. He had never been so tired. The sweat on his body was getting colder and he still felt sticky. While something like that usually bothered him and made him feel dirty, as he felt Richie’s soft breath on his chest he forgot about any type of discomfort.

He heard Richie speak but his mind was too faded and he couldn’t understand the first time.

“What?” his voice came out in an almost broken string.

“You never told me how you got lost,” Richie repeated.

Eddie smiled tiredly. He knew Richie wanted to tease him but even he seemed to be too tired to make fun of Eddie.

“You know how,” he answered.

Richie let out a small huff instead of laughing, “remind me in the morning either way.”

“Okay.”

Eddie’s eyelids felt heavier and heavier as his breath evened out. The hand on Richie’s hair went limp after a while as his mind drifted away to unconsciousness.

A soft light crept its way from the edge of the curtains. It was so dim that Eddie figured it had to be early morning. He tried moving body to stretch but as he did he noticed how sore his shoulders were. And his sides. And his mouth. And-

He felt a soft breath on his shoulder and he almost jumped. He mentally laughed at himself when the memories came back to him. He only smiled to himself, when he felt the arm over his hip shift.

Eddie gathered all his strength to sit up. He looked at Richie’s direction, the other man’s arm still over him only now on his lap. He could barely make his features up. Eddie kind of resented Richie for finally putting some drapes in his bedroom when he wanted to look at him. However, his smile grew when Richie mumbled something in his sleep. Richie was cute sleeping.

He could have stared longer but his throat was killing him. So very carefully he shimmied out of Richie’s embrace and being careful not to make any sounds walked to the bathroom in Richie’s room. He only turned the light on after the door was closed. The light was blinding, Eddie closed his eyes immediately, his body quickly catching up to the fact that he had lost count of his drinks the night before.

When his eyes finally adjusted he caught his reflection in the mirror.

He was still naked and could perfectly see all the red spots over his neck and chest in which Richie had marked him. He could also see the marks of Richie’s fingers on his hips. And even if his entire body looked totally ravished the one thing that first caught his attention was the trace of that soft smile he had had ever since he woke up. And that was the biggest mark that Richie could ever leave.

His face dropped and suddenly he wasn’t feeling so good.

No, not only not good. He quickly realized that anxiety wasn’t the only thing closing his throat and chest. It was fear And if there was one thing he hated more than anxiety was fear.

He had to make up a plan to get out of there as quickly as possible. He turned the lights out, feeling sick of his reflection, and walked back into the dark room. He could now barely make out Richie’s sleeping body in the bed. He moved quietly looking for his stuff on the floor, his chest feeling tighter and tighter thinking that at any moment Richie could wake up. He gathered all the clothes he had taken off in the bedroom almost by miracle and pressed them against his chest as he opened the door and tiptoed out of there. Finding the rest of his things was easier in the bright light of the living room.

After getting dressed he went straight to the door. He didn’t look back to see Richie’s place one last time. He felt like that was too cliché and he really needed to avoid those to feel no regret. He kept repeating himself that as he made his way downstairs, then out to the street, and then to the closest public transport. However, while he was walking he could feel himself freak out more and more.

Where the hell was he even going? He didn't want to go home, he would only get more anxious cramped up in his small dorm room.

Why had he left at all?

There was clearly something very wrong with him. 

Fuck, what was wrong with him?

Finally, in a strange moment of clarity, he chose where to go.

He almost ran upstairs. His skin was cold and itchy and it was getting harder and harder to push his feelings out of his mind. But it was okay, he just needed to get there and everything was going to be fine.

When he finally reached the apartment the door was already open, and one very worried looking Bill in pajamas was standing under the doorframe.

“Eddie- what is going on? What are you doing here? It’s so early.”

Eddie stopped in front of him.

“Can I come in?” his voice was dry and he was trying to calm himself before Bill let him inside.

Bill narrowed his eyes but nodded and stepped aside so that Eddie could walk in.

Eddie muttered a small ‘thanks’ and headed directly to the couch dropping there the second he reached it. He knew Stan and Mike were around, maybe in the kitchen, or in the bedroom. But as soon as he sat down he put his head on his hands and looked down.

The couch sank next to him and he heard Bill speak again, “Eddie are you okay?”

He wanted to answer, to explain everything to his friend. But he had no idea why he was so affected, why he was freaking out so much. He didn't understand anything and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to.

Finally, his voice came, but instead of sounding dry like before, he just sounded broken.

“I don't know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it has been taking me a while guys, life has been pretty weird in these last few weeks and one would think that quarantine gives you more time to write about reddie but it actually doesn't wtf
> 
> If you like this story pls leave kudos or comments. I dont wanna beg for your love but since ao3 is now only counting users in the hits I get kinda unmotivated to write :(
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!! The end will come soon


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